I Still Do
by Jemmasgiirl
Summary: Semma/ Emma left Degrassi, not Sean, and now years later she's back, in need of a break from her life in NYC and ex-fiance, Peter Stone. It wasn't easy as you'd think with all his wealth or connections. Emma couldn't keep up with the 'glamorous' life that now has her struggling with a body and coke problem. While home, she bumps into sexy mechanic, and ex-boyfriend, Sean Cameron.
1. Good As It Gets

**Hey guys! So I'm rebooting this story a little. So it was Emma who left, not Sean, pretend that Spike sent her to a really good private school in New York, and that's where she met Peter (Not at Degrassi). Her and Sean did have their 'closure' talk though, just not in Wasaga, just outside Degrassi before she left. So does this mean Sean stayed with Ellie? If not for Emma, has Jay and Manny even met? Will Emma and Sean fall in love all over again? Read to find out! **

"It's a scratch." Manny declared.

Sean stood in his garage, giving her an insane look as Jay laughed beside him, eying her car together with Sean. It had a huge dent at the rear end of her vehicle..

"Manny, you need a new **bumper**." Sean taunted.

Manny rolled her eyes annoyed, and crossed her arms, "Ok Mr. Know it all. Now where am I going to find the money for that?"

"Babe, you know you don't need to pay us." smirked Jay to his sexy, short tempered, petite fiance. God she was so hot when she got mad. How had he gotten the chance with **her**, Manny Santos, you ask? Well, why don't you shut the hell up and just take in the fact that he was a pretty damn good looking guy, for one, and it wasn't hard for him to get girls, you know?

But, Jay didn't run this story, so I'll tell you.

..They got together her senior year, and no not even he could tell you why she would lay her eyes on **him**. She was still a cheerleader then, one of Degrassi's hottest girls, and he was the slightly older, drop out, beyond sexy, mechanic. You get it. Manny basically went head over heels as soon as they officially met.

Anyways, it was literally an accident, a great one. She had got into a minor car incident, and the only mechanic Manny Santos knew of was Sean Cameron.

Manny and Sean had a bittersweet friendship. They had known another since they were little kids, and she had helped him many times to get the girl he use to long for, and he never looked at Manny the way other guys did like she was a piece of meat. She was just Manny, and he was just Sean, people who had been friends since 12 years old. They hadn't spoken for a long while, since, well you know, the break up between him and you know who. But when Manny came up to him that one day in need of help, it was good to see her. He wanted to help.

So he gave her a deal. Jay owed him a favor, and he was going to fix Manny's car for free. Cue in the fireworks when Manny and Jay meet. Jay would deny it, but he tried **hard. **Manny was older, wiser, and wasn't going to give in easy if it was just about sex with Jay Hogart, like it use to always be with him. Don't get me wrong, the sex now between them was good (fucking _amazing_), but it was his heart that he finally opened up to her that made them fall in love. For crying out loud, Jay **actually **cared about her _feelings _and my was he protective of her.

She was his dimples.

So! Manny and Jay got together, and Sean was actually happy for them, yet never really saw it coming. It made him wonder if he'd see **her **again? Sean never talked about **her**, not really. If Manny updated Jay on her life, and her visits to Emma in New York City, she wouldn't even say her name in front of Sean. Not that Emma and Sean left things badly, because they didn't, in fact, he found her outside of school in the middle of class one day waiting for her taxi to bring her away.

It had blown him away, finding out she was leaving without any warning. To be honest, he may of fell into some sort of shock (If the shooting wasn't enough).

What was a world without Emma Nelson in it? Degrassi wasn't the same. When she left, he apologized, for **everything. **They finally had their closure, and she left for New York, and he stayed back..with Ellie. So why was Sean plagued by memories of Emma everywhere he walked around Degrassi when she left? Even time to time Sean thought of the girl who was the _only _girl who ever knew him better than he knew himself. She was the only girl who would give him the amount of chances Emma did.

..he wished he wasn't such a moron back then. But they were young. Now, Sean was 24. It's been 7 years since Degrassi, and 9 years since he last saw her.

Life was good now. As good as it got at least for him, Sean felt. What use to be Tony's Garage that Jay and Sean use to work for, was now changed to Camerons Garage. Jay was manager, and Manny sometimes helped with reception but Sean mostly did everything. He had really grown up, got a loan for college, when into business, and opened up this dream shop of his. So, that was an accomplishment to him. A very big one. Nobody ever thought Sean Cameron, former bad boy, would go anywhere.

Two years after opening it up, Jay proposed to Manny. They were going to marry last year, but Manny's friends JT Yorke and Liberty had their own wedding planned for the summer week Manny wanted, so they held it off ONE more year. It was coming up, rather soon actually! A few more months and Manny would be permanently his, Mrs Jay Hogart.

"Thank god." Manny declared, sighing in relief and wrapped her arms around Jay happily, smiling dimples at him. The way he liked it.

Sean was checking her car out as he glanced over then rolled his eyes. He stood up and grabbed a rag to wipe his hands but Jay caught his look.

"Seanny, you _know_ you have your own girl friend."

Sean just answered with a sigh as Jay still held Manny against him and she tilted her head at Sean, "What?" Manny eyed Sean almost deathly, "No! Are you serious?!"

Sean just shrugged, leaning against her car and she rolled her eyes this time, sharing a look with Jay.

"Ellie? Again?" Jay asked, also annoyed.

Sean sneered at them and pushed his shoulder length hair back, in a wavy prince charming way. Even as bad, and sexy as Sean could look, he could still be so dreamy and handsome too.

Let me get you caught up on him and Ellie.

After the shooting, Ellie still lived with him, but didn't know how to deal with his slight depression that seemed to just get worse for reasons unexplained. She felt selfish, since he had helped her so much, but she was use to being the victim. Sean wasn't. He wouldn't talk, express in anyway, or find help. So they broke up, and she moved back with her mom. She watched him, jealously, date other people..but it was never serious, and when he turned 18, he went to the army for a year to come up with the college money and be able to get a loan to open up his dream shop. It really worked out for him. When he came home, Manny and Jay got engaged, and he hooked up with some other girls, and was ready to open shop. Then, he bumped into Ellie again who came to his 'grand opening' when she read about it in the newspapers she worked for.

She was persistent in going out for drinks to 'catch up', and was showering him with compliments about how he turned his life around, and how good he looked, and was wearing a rather short dress that did her some favors too. She wasn't the Ellie from highschool, but now a classy writer who wore dresses a lot now and cut her hair into a smooth long bob. They slept together that night, which they never did in highschool, but she had lost it to her old boss Jesse and had apparently learned a few things. It was good, but Sean didn't think it was going to be more than a one time thing. He was actually pretty drunk actually when it happened and so was. But, in the end, she stayed the night, cooked breakfast, and kept visiting him at work until **she **declared one day that they were _dating._

They dated for a year, and when Sean had decided to make this shop even bigger and partnering up with Jay, Ellie begun to stress him out with marriage plans because she felt they were ready and she would 'be damned if Manny Santos got married before her'.

He told her he wasn't ready for that kind of thing right now, and she took it so badly and she had vanished for two or three months...but now, sadly, she was back.

"We're.. working on _things_." Sean finally told them, cringing at his own choice of words. But honestly, if not Ellie, then who else? No other girls he had met in the last few years meant anything to him. At least him and Ellie had some history. It may of not been passionate or A LOT of history, but it was something.

Jay raised an eyebrow at him and Manny just mouthed 'sure'.

Sean huffed, "Manny, you wanna say something? Say it."

She moved away from Jay, putting her hands up innocently, "I didn't say anything." she then gasped sharply, "Oh bananas!" she shouted, shutting her eyes and leaned her head back as she groaned like she had COMPLETELY forgotten about something.

Manny always had stuff on her mind since her and Jay were planning their wedding soon, and since being his future-wife, she helped a lot with their garage by taking messages, and helping front desk. What happened to her dream of being an actress? Well, Manny had found out it actually wasn't something she really wanted. The fantasy of fans loving her, wasn't what she wanted; she just wanted someone **to **love **her. **Dream now reality. Now her plans were to be a house wife who pleased her very busy, very hot, mechanic husband whenever he needed.

Sean raised his eyebrow, amused with her choice of words and Jay nodded. She never changed.

"Emma's at the FRICKIN airport in less than an hour." Manny turned to Jay, begging for his keys. "I'll go run and pick her up now!"

Sean's body tensed, and he leaned off Manny's car.

Did she just say what he thought she did?

"Emma **Nelson?**" Sean had to make sure.

"That's the one!" taunted Manny like it shouldn't have even been asked, "Babe." she turned to Jay.

Jay read her mind and tossed her his orange civic keys. Yup, that's right, years later and he STILL had his baby.

Sean blinked, and got lost in thought. He never heard of her ever visiting home before. . not in years.

He's heard **some **things but nothing lately in a year or so.. He knew when she left Degrassi, she went to New York, to a really good private school. He always thought she'd make it big, but supposedly Manny had mentioned something about modeling. I mean, he didn't doubt it, she was a fox with those long legs of hers and he remembered that _body _that was **just **beginning to blossom to it's fullest. She was always naturally beautiful too. Agents probably loved that. He just hoped it was what **she **wanted. He could almost hear her former self claiming that it was a sexist job and it had made him chuckle.

He wondered what she looked like now, how she was. He was sure she'd meet some pansy mama's boy who was rich at her upper side private school; and she did. Rumor had it, she was engaged to him after she graduated and his family owned a few famous hotels in New york and the Peter guy, her fiance, was getting handed down the business, and he was also doing film directing on the side with his loads of money.

Now I guess she was visiting.

Manny had grabbed her purse but before she ran out, she turned and snapped, "oh!" she pointed at Jay warningly, "Don't bring up her break up with Peter either, Jay. She's been doing really good the past few months."

"Like I _care_." Jay said, rolling his eyes. Ofcourse Manny would forever be friends with Greenpeace, and he learned to respect that and him and Emma found 'civilization' the third time he visited her with Manny in New york, and Emma accepted the fact her friend had fallen for the devil himself too, sadly..

So Jay had met this Peter Stone, and even **he** thought he was a loser.

"Glad poindexter was dumped," he muttered to Sean who snickered at the nickname. He sorta even liked it. "You gonna meet me at Jane and Spinner's tonight?" Jay asked Manny before she left the garage.

She stopped in her tracks and slapped her hand over her forehead so hard both the guys even cringed. "Shit! I forgot! Why does so many things have to be happening today?"

Sean could agree with her, feeling rattled up himself right now. When did it get so hot in here? It was only April .

"Okay, I'll meet you guys there!" she insisted and finally ran out. Her best friend was coming home for Christ sakes! She needed to go to the airport STAT!

"Sean." Jay repeated.

Sean snapped out of it and coughed, "What?" he asked, glaring a bit.

"Can I catch a ride to Spinsters?" Jay said again, "Since Manny now has my car." he was speaking slowly, monotone, eying Sean with squinted judgmental eyes.

Sean looked funny, and out of it. Jay wanted to take a bet on why.

"Oh, right. Yea." he nodded, and he coughed slightly, kicking Manny's tire as he round the car with an unreadable expression upon his face.

Jay smirked, rolling his eyes and got to work with Sean, grabbing his tool box. The front door had opened again, but this time a red head walked in. "Seaan." sang her voice.

Sean turned to Ellie. Her hair was still a long bob, just above her shoulders. Same ol' redhead, petite body and wore a short pencil black skirt and a tank top tucked into it. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he put an arm around her waist and she kissed him hello.

"Must be National Girlfriend visits work day." taunted Jay sarcastically.

Ellie scowled at him, she hated him.. .and well, Manny too. When Sean and Ellie broke up the first time, she fought over Craig with Manny and Manny and Ellie never saw eye to eye since and she knew Manny was telling Sean she was probably not good enough for him. Ellie would give Craig up to Manny for Sean in an instant if that mattered at all? She wished Manny could see that she was what was best for Sean.

"You think you can take work off tonight?" Ellie purred to Sean, running her hands up his strong biceps. God.. .he was so damn fit. She wanted to run her hands down his wife beater, and then under to feel those abs of his.

The way Ellie looked at it, Sean was Prince Charming . No other guy did it for her like Sean did. He was going to be gorgeous til the day he died and Ellie just wanted to be proposed to already so she could start making his very attractive little babies soon.

"Tons of work, actually." Sean insisted.

Jay gave a wierd look, cornering his eyes as he caught Sean's look to shut up. Wow... Sean wasn't going to bring Ellie to Spinners house warming party with Jane?

Ellie had pouted, and he passed her a small apologetic smile before leaning down and washing her thoughts away as he kissed her swiftly on the lips. Before she knew it, she forgot what she was pouting about. She guessed she could let it slide this time.

"fine." she narrowed her eyes to see Jay working on Manny's car now so too busy to see what she did next. She ran her finger down Sean's chest and pushed her body against his. "Come by later though if you're feeling.. lonely."

Sean watched her peel herself off him and sneak a smirk over her shoulder as she walked away. She had went over a list of things she wanted to 'work on' if they were going to get back together, but Sean never said if they were. So since then, it's just been a lot of free sex, no strings. Hopefully she felt the same.


	2. Getting Impatient

"To Spinner and Jane! Congratulations!"

Everyone stood in their new house, which was a real nice townhouse in a good neighborhood. Cozy and had that home sense. As you entered the door there was the living room right there and kitchen to the left. That's where everyone was now, with balloons and a 'congratulations' banner on the walls. Then there was a bathroom and door to the backyard. The stairs that were on the side of the living room, lead up to the bedrooms and other bathroom, then the den, which was 'The boys' room was in the basement.

Jane smiled happily, cheering her wine glass with her brothers beer bottle. Lucas had done some growing up too since highschool, and matured more. She then turned to Spinner, kissing him happily. Wow, still crazy in love with the same guy after all these years and they were FINALLY living together. Jane knew why it took so long and she didn't blame Spin...she had hurt him a lot when they were in highschool but that was over now and they were young and she was stupid. Spin could completely trust her now. . hence the move. Things changed when you grew up. She now owned a record store, and Spinner owned the Dot.

Everyone, friends and family, were clapping and cheering drinks.

Jay and Sean stood together behind most of the crowd but raised their beers at Spinner when he looked at them. Spinner shrugged and gave them a sheepish grin before he chugged his beer with them and wrapped his arm around his beautiful girl friend.

"I give em a year." joked Jay, muttering over to Sean.

Sean laughed, knowing he was only kidding..

They now had been here over an hour and yet no Manny... no nothing. Sean was feeling impatient.

"Is **that** Sean Cameron?" whispered Amy beside Alex on the other side of the room, narrowing her eyes at Sean and bit her lip, trying not to moan. He still rocked those wife beaters like no tomorrow, and that grin of his as he talked to Jay was still knee trembling. Why had they stopped fooling around in highschool? Amy couldn't remember.

Oh right. He was on rebound from that tree hugger and though he was so hot, he was so gloomy. Then, when she wanted some more again, he was dating some vampire freakshow. Hmm, he looked single tonight though; just her luck!

Alex snickered, standing by the kitchen and pouring herself a shot as she glanced at Sean, "Yeah, Amy. It is. " she rolled her eyes.

Amy will never change! She even gave Manny a run for her money (That's a joke by the way, Alex actually came to love Manny because of how happy she made Jay. )

Amy smoothed her skirt out, then hair. It was a bit longer, blonder and guess she didn't look **as** trashy but still wore the shortest skirts like she did in highschool. Her and Alex lost touch when, well, Amy slept with Jay, but Alex had just started working in a bar that Amy also worked in, so they put the past in the past. It was a love/hate friendship.

Amy gulped her beer, and as much of a big drinker she was, it had went down her throat roughly. She was drooling, and couldn't take her eyes off him. He had turned from hot, into earth shattering sexy.

"Oh fuck, they're coming this way." Amy warned Alex. Alex just simply turned to them as they came over to re fill their drinks and she nodded in greetment when Jay saw her.

Boys didn't really *tickle* her fancy anymore . .

"What's up?" she asked Sean and Jay. Amy tried to get Sean's attention, who had walked by to the fridge without even noticing her!

"Just **bored **out of my mind." Jay nearly sneered, and checked his phone for any texts from Manny. Nothing. From behind him, Spinner and Jane had come over.

Jane rolled her eyes humorously, "Sorry our happiness bores you to tears, Jay."

"Hey Sean." he finally heard and turned from opening his beer. He saw Amy, but took a moment to remember her.

Oh, Shit.

He shifted uncomfortably as Alex nudged him tauntingly, "Aren't you gonna say hi?"

He coughed and nodded politely at Amy before taking a big gulp from his beer. WHY was he even still here?! He wasn't even a big party type of guy.

This was going to be a LONG night.

(((****)))

"**That girl**." Jay pointed to Jane in the middle of the party and stood with Spinner and Sean, "is going to be your only girl for the rest of your life."

They all chuckled or laughed.

"You alright with that Spinster?" Jay teased

Spinner grinned dopely, "Yea I think I am." his gaze fell back onto Jane, laughing with her friends.

"You're whipped." joked Sean, sipping his beer.

"And proud." Spinner pointed and began to direct them down the stairs to their 'boys room' basement. There was a pool table, and they each grabbed their pool stick to play.

"Solids." called Sean, chalking up his pool stick and ready to win.

Jay glared at him, and tried to shake his arms a little to warm up. Sean always beat his ass and they always put money down on it. He HAD to win or Manny would throw a fit at him again.

"$20 on stripes." Spinner confirms, putting money down and called, "I play winner."

Jay and Sean got prepared, sharing a smirk and began to play once Sean broke, and the balls on the pool table began to spread and two solids fell in the net.

Jay cursed but waited and got back to their conversation, "Well I don't blame you man, I'm excited to marry Manny." he said to Spinner

Spinner laughed, "Well I'm glad you **don't blame me** for wanting to live with the girl I love, Jay." he nodded appreciating it, but was being very sarcastic.

Jay finally got his turn and cheered when he got it in. He cheered a little too hard; both guys gave him amused look. "What?" he snapped, and went again.

"Where's Manny?" Sean asked as calm and collected as he could, keeping his eyes on the game.

Jay was about to take his shot to then pause and raised a skeptical eyebrow at Sean. No. . .he _couldn't. _Not after all these years...

Sean clenched his jaw, and waited for an answer.

"I don't know." sighed Jay, finally taking the shot and scoffed when he missed. Sean's turn.

When the game was finished, and Sean won, he then beat Spinner, and then the three went back upstairs. Now it was just close friends, and almost midnight.

Sean was getting tired, and disappointed, and he put his beer on the table, "Think I'm gonna head home man." he told Spinner honestly who stood with Jane again

Jane passed him a smile for coming but Spinner's eyebrows furrowed, "It's only.." he looked at the clock, "Not even midnight yet. Come on, we're still young. Don't be a pussy."

Sean chuckled and shrugged, reaching for his car keys in his pocket-

The door opened.

Two figures walked in as Jane exclaimed, "You finally made it!"

Sean looked over his shoulder, watching Jane run the door and block his view of who came in.

For fucking heaven sakes!

**A/Note: Reviews! Let me know you guys still want to read this! Emma's coming up, and you're going to see what her life has been like since, and then, the great reunion of her and Sean. I'm excited myself!**


	3. A Minor Set Back

Emma bit her lip as she sat in the Toronto airport, waiting for her best friend. Manny was running late, but being Manny, that wasn't a shocker to Emma. What was bothering Emma was wondering how she got back here.

Didn't she once say New York was where she belonged? That little towns like this just wasn't for her?

Geez, what if she ran into someone from highschool?

Emma now had longer blonde hair, with darker blonde lowlights through her layered hair. Every day she had a beautiful salon blowout styled to her hair. Her hairdresser had taught her to do it herself. Emma was a model now. Not something you expected huh? Well, blame Peter.

Anways, her body finally grew into those long tanned legs of hers, and her chest was another great asset of hers now. No more need for her 'Manny bra' anymore; she only had to wait until she was 23.

Her fashion had changed from comfortable and cute to sexy and appealing, but still respectable. Let alone, highly expensive clothes. She wore a mini, high waist, white designer skirt with a zipper on the mid right of the skirt. Then, a black V neck thin shirt tucked into it, and it hugged her curves and chest beautifully. Then came the matching black high heels to go with. Her heels tied at the toe to her ankle.

"EM!" called a voice Emma to well and looked up, smiling softly but a second of sadness flashed her eyes and she tried to fight her tears.

Who was she kidding? She didn't mind being back. **This **place was **home. **She felt it as she stood up and embraced her best friend running over to her and they both hugged another tight.

Manny squealed, "Oh my god Emma, I'm SO happy you're back! It feels like old times." she squeezed Emma harder. No other friend of Manny's compared to Emma!

"I missed you too." pouted Emma, resting her chin on her slightly shorter friend.

The two finally pulled apart, and Emma felt and heard her stomach grumble. Manny giggled, "I guess that means dinner!"

Emma frowned deeply and looked down, lightly brushing her fingers down her stomach. "No, I'm good. You said there was some party?"

By the change of subject, Manny gasped happily. "yes! Lets go! We can get some snacks and cake there." she led Emma to her car.

Emma stopped when they walked out the airport building, and then there was the old orange civic she knew too well. "What happened to your car?"

"Don't get me started." groaned Manny, walking around and opening the front door. Emma giggled and got in.

After Emma put her bags in the back, Manny drove them to this party while updating her on everything, I meant everything. Emma didn't even have to speak, which was okay, since she wasn't in the talking mood. Being here again was just a lot to take in.

As she gazed over the familiar city, memories of her last city, New York, popped into her head.

_Three months earlier._

_"Emma, where is Charlotte?" asked Peter, squishing into the kitchen and through their party guests._

_Emma had turned as fast as possible from the table she was leaning forward on, and hid whatever was behind her._

_"I-I told her she could go home." she admitted. Charlotte was like their maid. _

_"You what?!" Peter tossed his head back, annoyed. "She's the only one who knows where everything in the cellar is. We need more booze."_

_Emma bit her tongue, knowing that mentioning that maybe his guests should bring their own booze to a party was just too 'small town, poor girl' of her. He had the money to take care of his guests, and that's what he'd do. _

_You see, Peter was from a very wealthy, very highly connected family. This condo they lived in was one of New Yorks top condos and there was glass __**everythin**__g. Glass windows, showers, tables. Emma was afraid to touch her own kitchen counter sometimes, in fear it'd break. But Peter had to have the best, what ever was in trend._

_He wore his white beige looking suit from Acnho's, a high designer, and he wore a black tie. His blonde hair was gelled back nicely, a little messy for style purposes. His blue eyes flashed angrily as he tried to think of a way to fix this and he then closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead._

_Emma didn't see the big deal and looked down. Even if she didn't see the big deal though, Peter could easily make her feel like a small bug. An idiot. _

_"Whatever," he pauses, "I'll get Paul to go down and grab whatever." he looked back at Emma. She bared a small yet uneasy smile. His eyes twinkled and he stepped forward, cupping her face. "You look beautiful tonight."_

_She raised her hands and rested them on his. She wore a long blood dress made by lauren conrad herself. Emma had on matching ruby lipstick to match, and her hair was curled. Peter only threw the best classy parties in upper east._

_She owed Peter everything that she had in her life now; including the rock on her finger. _

_At the start, she was a mess from Degrassi when she went to St David's upper side private school, but when Peter laid eyes on her, he instantly had to have her. He was somewhat, put off though, when he found out where she was from, and that her family wasn't known like his nor did she have money like he did.._

_But she was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen, so he'd take care of her, and make her known to the world like she should be... And he did. Agents were jumping at the chance to manage Emma when Peter brought her to his family's parties, that were even better and bigger than his. Sometimes they'd even have balls._

_It was like a fairy tale; but with __**a lot **__of pressure to stay perfect. _

_Once, Emma was once even offered a role in a tv show, but Peter didn't want her to be THAT known; he wanted her to stay by his side and not get bigger. . .so a model she became and at his side she stayed. _

_She modeled for only the best. Vouge, Vanity, the upper class stuff. Once again, she knew she owed all to Peter, and that's why she hated making him mad. She had to be perfect, for him, for herself, and his parents. His parents were iffy of her at first, but he had managed to explain what he was going to turn Emma into, and he did. Emma was now Miss Perfect to them, so perfect that they got him to put a ring on it. They were engaged for 8 months now._

_Peter was about to bow down to kiss Emma for her to gasp and jump when they heard something break from out of the kitchen, where their guests was._

_"Christ," Peter rolled his eyes, putting his hands on her hips. "We'll finish this later." he smiled at her and she nodded, looking down again though and just waiting for him to go._

_She had things she had to...finish._

_Peter caught her look though, and eyed her skeptically before he tilted his head to the side and saw what was lined up on their kitchen counter. Blow._

_"Jesus, Emma!" he snapped, stepping over to it and glancing behind him to make sure nobody came in._

_Emma shut her eyes painfully and opened them, ashamed, "I-I'm sorry, I just stepped out of the party for a second to-"_

_Peter had leaned down, quickly inhaling the line of cocaine from off the counter. "Shit." he shut his eyes, holding his nose for a second. "Oh man, that stuff is top notch. Too pure for me." _

_Emma nodded, biting her lip unsurely though. She knew he got mad when she brought this stuff out in front of new guests. These people at the party were new clients of Peter's. They were always on 'best behavior' with new people, but with friends, Peter did drugs and drank alcohol as hard as Johnny Knoxville. _

_Peter didn't do coke all the time, only at parties, but he allowed Emma to do it regularly and almost supported it. Just little bits here and there, to help wake her up for their busy life, and to help push back her appetite for her model career. Models had to have the greatest bodies remember? _

_Sometimes though, Emma felt overly exhausted and emotional and not part of this kind of world. For example, at next weeks party._

_**Next weeks party: **_

_Emma now wore a black mini cocktail dress, and tonight was 'casino' night in her and Peter's condo. It was a night where it wasn't clients as party guests, but their actual friends...but sometimes Emma wondered if Peter's friends were even HER friends._

_She had stormed into the kitchen, and she shook her head at herself, tears burning in her eyes. Why did she do this stuff to herself?! Where was the Emma she use to know? Why, she came out time to time with taunting thoughts in her head. She'd make fun of herself when she went to desperate measures to impress Peter and his family and friends.. yet she was too scared or too worried about losing the new life she had and didn't want to screw it up._

_But tonight, tonight she just couldn't take anymore. It could of been the fact she hadn't been able to get her 'hook up' from her dealer, and was having a mini withdrawal. Or, she could finally be sobering up to this fake, horrible life._

_"Emma!" PEter had chased her back in that kitchen, where they fought like this all the time. "He was kidding!"_

_Emma whipped around, her eyes a blur from the tears. "Oh how funny, Peter! It was a REAL laugh! Next time you see Brad, tell him I think it's hilarious when he makes jokes that your assistant, Bianca, goes down on you in your office!" _

_Peter cringed but looked back up at her sternly. "Lets not make a scene tonight. We'll talk about it tomorrow. I love you alright? Lets go." he went to pull her hand and she whipped it out of his, shaking her head no. "What now?!What is it, Emma!?" He snapped louder, "What, you didn't get your fix today or is this just another episode from being hungry? Eat something, if it'll make you shut up." _

_Emma stared blankly at him, her chest rising and falling from anger but then slowed down and steadied as she looked around and snickered. She charged toward the fridge, "Why don't I do that?" she whipped open the fridge, and found left over pizza from the other night that she only had a few bites of to last her the day. She grabbed it, facing him, and took a huge bite._

_He rolled his eyes to her 'scene'. Emma sighed though and took another big bite. The old Emma she use to know laughed in her head. __**Why do we let this prick tell us what to do? Doesn't this pizza taste good? Don't you feel more free than you had before? **_

_Emma finished the pizza and clapped her hands clean before swallowing the last bite and put her hands on her hips, giving Peter a 'bite me' stare down._

_He squinted his eyes. "You done? Can we go back to the party now?"_

_Emma looked down, and lifted her hand to stare at her ring and then yanked it off with her other hand. "Yah Peter, __**You**__ can go back to the party, but I'm leaving.."_

_He jumped and caught something she threw at him. He looked down at the ring, and his mouth dropped to look up at her with panic in his eyes. B-but she was his perfect trophy wife. They were going to get married in less than a month!_

_And honestly, Emma was happy she had done this before it was too late._

_"It's over." she stormed past him, and out the kitchen door. _

_Peter clenched the ring, hurt and angry, he turned to where she stormed away and shouted, "I made you! And I can break you! You're nothing without me, babe!" _

_END OF FLASHBACK._

"We're here."

Emma snapped out of it, seeing Manny had parked Jay's car on a street full of other cars. Must of been a party.

So! It'd been 2 and a half months, almost 3, since Emma walked away from Peter. The first month consisted of moving her stuff out, and living with her friend from work; Hannah. The second month, was focusing on her work and sadly still not giving up her 'addiction'. Blow was the only thing that she felt kept her going. She had tried to eat a bit more, but she was still subconscious.. she felt she always would be. At least she ate small meals though now and then, instead of nothing but a few bites and only water.

Now, coming to her third month of splitting with Peter; 75 days to be exact.. she had chose to go home. Back to Degrassi.

"Where are we?" Emma asked.

Manny grabbed her purse and grinned mischievously at Emma, "Spinner Masons house. It'll probably be like a highschool reuinion."

Manny almost made it out the door until she felt Emma grab her, rather hard. She looked back and saw the fear across Emma's face.

"No, Manny. I can't." she shook her head no. "I don't want to see...anyone.. I doubt they even remember me anyways. Can't we go somewhere else?"

"No, this will be fun! Come on!" she got out,and Emma took a minute to silently pout before going after her.

_(((((((******))))))_

"You made it!" Jane exclaimed, opening the door for Emma and Manny. She hugged Manny and smiled to Emma over her shoulder. She must be the girl Manny never shut up about

Emma smiled back but rather uneasily and looked around; not recognizing anyone really, it had been a long time though.. She also didn't notice a pair of familiar blue eyes staring wide right at her from the corner.

"Holy _fuck." _purred a voice right in Sean's ear.

Sean snapped out of it, his mind racing a million thoughts per second and his body feeling not his own; he couldn't control the tingles he was feeling, or slight numbness, and then he got really hot one second, to back to room temperature. Was he having a stroke? No. He was too young and too fit for that! His eyes couldn't help but drift back to Emma.

It was _her. _He would recognize her anywhere, no matter how long it'd been, or how different they were . That face, those hazel eyes.. the blonde hair. She hadn't changed_** much**_. You know, besides the fact she was definitely a woman now. She let her walking to the talking, and that smile of hers could make a guy do anything. Yet, Sean noticed, even all the way back here, her smile looked forced.

_Yet she was still beautiful. _

She was back. He couldn't believe he was actually seeing Emma freakin Nelson again.

Why didn't he change before this fucking party? _Fuck, fuck, double fuck. _

Lucas Vaughn had groaned again beside Sean, causing him to glare and want him to back up. The guy must of also took notice of Emma.

"Who is that fine creature?" he joked, but looked to Sean and Jay for an answer.

Jay turned from sipping his beer to see what he had meant and happily saw Manny coming in. Lucas knew Manny, and wouldn't say something like that at least in front of Jay, so he had to be talking about Emma. Obviously.

Jay paused before he answered, noticing Sean turn his body around, so Emma wouldn't see him or something. Jay had to laugh out loud, sipping his beer again. He **knew **it, tonight was going to be g**reat!**

"That's Emma _Greenpace_ Nelson." Jay finally answered Lucas, but we all knew he was mostly silently taunting Sean as he egged Lucas on to go introduce himself to Emma. In reality, it would force Sean to go make the move first before Lucas beat him to it. "She just moved back, totally single. Go _mingle." _

Sean itched the back of his head, peaking up to glance between Jay and Lucas and narrowing his eyes to see Lucas about to go make his move.

Sean turned and went to go talk to her. _God fucking help me. _He had turned to fast though, and bumped hard into someone from right behind him.

Amy gasped, dropping her beer can, "shit!" she jumped back from it over flowing over her feet and went to glare at whoever bumped into her and made her drop it. She then gasped and shut her mouth as Sean looked down and back up at her

"Sor-" he was cut off, noticing Lucas go around them and head straight to Manny and Emma. He had even brought his hand out to act as if a gentlemen and Emma was actually shaking it; falling for her. "Sorry." Sean finally said, blinking out of it and clenched his jaw, looking back at Amy.

What chance did he have with Emma anyways? He blew that years ago.

"No problem. Help me?" she asked, motioning for him to follow her in the kitchen where they could be alone.

Sean figured he spilt it all over her legs or dress and needed help finding napkin. So he followed, with slight disappointment.

From behind, Jay chuckled and shook his head watching him go. He went over to Manny now, and decided to go have his fun with Greenpeace now. It'd been too long.

"Gp, is there a skirt to go with that top?" he taunted, wrapping an arm around Manny's waist as he pulled her against him.

Emma turned from talking to Lucas, to narrow her eyes bitterly at him. She wasn't in the mood for his 'too short of skirt' bit. Manny even slapped his arm.

He snickered and raised his hands in peace. "You girls want a beer?" he looked over at Manny, and they had both nodded.

Manny then whispered in his ear, "I'll go get them, you stay. Don't let Emma leave with Lucas. He's YOUR friend."

Jay silently laughed and they agreed upon it with a kiss, and he watched her go before turning to Emma and mentioning, "I heard you were PoinDexter free."

"Jay," Emma noted, annoyed, "I'm here for a party."

"WhaT?" he shrugged innocently, "I'm having fun, aren't you having fun?" he looked to her and Lucas behind her who smirked down at her.

Emma almost shivered in disgust. I mean, Lucas was good looking, but so not her type and trying way too hard.

"I'm having fun." he huskily side noted.

"Gross." Jay informed loudly, inching his eyes shut a little with disgust.

"I'm _going _to have fun, if it's the last thing I do." Emma insisted, looking around and noticing that indeed everyone was having fun and for once, she didn't have to be on her best behavior or watch out for glass tables or thousand dollar vases or paintings. She could use some help, and she knew what she could do to make sure she had some. "I'll be right back." she informed.

Both Lucas and Jay watched her mysteriously walk off, heading right towards the kitchen.

In the kitchen..

"Can you hand me that kitchen towel?" Amy asked Sean, using little napkins to clean her shoes off but her legs were still a bit soaked.

Sean was staring at the sink to the right of him, leaning back on it and blinked, snapping out of it. He looked at her and she nodded to beside him. Oh, right. Towel.

He went to grab it, to hear her giggle and take two steps over to him, then one more which made her awfully close. Then one more, which meant right up against him. He tensed.

"what are you doing?" he had to ask.

Amy raised an eyebrow, "You need a girl to confirm out loud that she's hitting on you? Thought you'd be use to by now." she teased with a growing smile.

He swallowed hard as she wrapped her fingers around his solid neck, pressing her hips into his and trying to grind on his front to get a reaction. He groaned a bit but scoffed. As much as he'd usually be into a random hook up, with no strings, right now he was oddly just not feeling it. Neither was his...you know.

"Amy-" before he could even protest, she loved the sound of her name on his lips and moaned out loud.

"Oh Sean!" she dug at his pants, panting heavily and wanted him **right now**. They were alone in the kitchen, they could do it! It'd be so hot.

Sean's eyes widened a bit, putting his hands on her waist when she practically mauled him out of nowhere, "What the fu-"

She kissed him hard, and he shut his eyes to just how painful and hard it was. Shit. I-I guess they were doing this. She pulled away panting and kissed him again, running her fingers through his hair. He tried to get into it and kiss her back, but he shook his head and tried to push her back. He just wasn't into it.

"Wait!"

She took the step back just to take her top off though, revealing her black lace bra and she attached herself to him again, "Take me right here."

"Are you crazy?!" behind the bizarre scene going on right now, nobody noticed the kitchen door opening.

"Do it!" she begged, digging at his belt to unbuckle it now, "Do me now."

Emma looked up from **just **entering, her eyes widening to what she just heard. Was there a couple hooking up in the friggen kitchen that she just walked into?

Sure enough, she saw a girl throwing herself at some guy by the counter, her top already off. That was quick, considering the guy was fully clothed. All power to the girl though I guess, Emma would do it too when she noticed how handsome the guy was- Oh my god.

She knew THIS guy. It was **Sean** Cameron.

A gorgeous, way too gorgeous to even breath right now, Sean Cameron.

"Oh my god." Emma said out loud, her eyes widening and mouth falling. The 'couple' had turned and were both panting. Amy panted from excitement..Sean was panting from practically almost getting sexually harressed if not for this person-oh god, oh _fuck_-

"Emma?" Sean had to say out loud, breathless now and not believing **this **had to be the way she'd see him again. **Worst** moment in history.

Emma simply blinked. Wow. He remembered her. She then noticed Amy now too. Amy from **friggen **highschool. He was making out with his old rebound ex from HIGHSCHOOL!? Ridiculous. But Emma had to laugh. It was all too funny, too unreal.

"Wow, just like highschool I guess right?" she teased them, turning around to leave so they could get back to **whatever **they were about to do. She wouldn't want to interrupt!

Sean's mouth fell and he tried to quickly explain as he ruffled his belt back together, "No it's not like-"

Emma was already out the door and Amy was already back all over him, "Finally, alone." she said, not even recognizing who that was that had just come in.

Sean finally used his strength to get her of him and stormed off, out the door. He came out of the kitchen a bit breathless, and ran his hand through his hair as he looked for Emma.

Everyone was still drinking, talking over another, having a good time. Emma was at the drinks table, and filling a cup with some vodka now as he quickly walked over to her.

"Um, **that, **in _there.."_ Sean drifted off as he stopped behind Emma, lowering his voice so he could explain, "It was-"

Emma looked over her shoulder with a small smirk, "We're adults now Sean, I know what it was. Spare the details though." she wrinkled her nose rather cutely to Sean's notice, but he also knew she did it in disgust and that made him groan that she actually believed he was doing the dirt with Amy in there. "Good to see you though." she added.

Before he knew it, she was going to walk off. That was it.

He didn't know what was coming over him, but he couldn't let her go, not again.

Emma was shocked as well when he reached for her and turned her back towards him. She gave him a confused look. What was he doing? Wasn't he dating Amy now? Or again? Or whatever it was. He didn't need to explain what he was doing with his own girl friend in there, Emma just didn't want to know.

Seemed Emma was behind on her old Degrassi rumors and hottest new couples. She was slightly disappointed though that Sean would chose to be with a girl like that again.

"I haven't even _seen _Amy Pratt since **highschool.**" Sean informed.

Emma tilted her head, "Oh." she squinted her eyes at him, "So you were just fooling around for fun? You're like that now?" he wasn't like that before. I mean, he was body melting attractive and could easily be a player, but he never abused his looks with girls before. Why now?

She was getting more and more disappointed, her heart falling a bit.

"What?" he shook his head incredulously, "No!" he exclaimed. He looked desperate, Emma had to giggle a bit. She'd never seen him look so rattled up. It was cute.

"Wow," came another voice, tearing them apart. "Look. At. This." Jay sang too obviously, grinning ear to ear like the cheshire cat as he stopped on the other side of them with Manny.

Sean glared hatefully at him, before Manny said, "Isn't it so wierd we can all still bump into people we use to know and just _catch up_?"

Sean and Emma snuck a glance at another. His heart stopped, and she teased him a bit as she explained to Manny and Jay, "Ya! This party is way too fun, you were right Jay. I even just caught Amy and Sean in the kitchen and Sean was just about to...what did Amy say, Sean?" she gasped as she remembered, "**Do her**?"

Sean growled. Manny almost spit back her drink into her cup, and Jay almost doubled over from laughing.

Emma bit her lip to try and stop smiling, catching Sean's look that this no longer was funny anymore. She couldn't help it. He deserved it. He shouldn't be with girls who were- _wait Emma, _she thought to herself, _what say do you have over who he dates or 'fucks'? Maybe I am being a little chidlish...maybe even a little jealous. Wait. That's crazy. It was just old feelings playing games. _

Sean taunted her back now, "So where's your _fiance_? The rich guy, we hear so much about."

Manny slapped Sean's arm and Emma squinted her eyes almost madly at him. He had to of known about the break up. She was only teasing him, but now he was getting mean.

Emma tried to ignore the painful swallow in her throat as she turned to Manny and Jay, "Where's a bathroom here?"

"Upstairs." Manny pouted a bit, hoping that mention of Emma's ex didn't set Emma back at all.

When Emma turned and left, Sean emotionally smacked himself too and Manny hissed at him, "What is wrong with you!?"

"I don't **know**!" Sean snapped back, turning to the drinks table and viciously grabbed a bottle of beer and popped it open. He wasn't feeling himself, and now he felt like shit. Back when he was a kid, Emma always made him feel sheepish, or on cloud 9... but this Emma? She had him all fired up, feeling different feelings per second. Where was it coming from? What did it mean?

Had he hurt her?

He didn't know it would effect her so bad.. he thought they were still teasing and maybe he got too angry. You know him and his flip outs.

Upstairs though, the mention **had **sadly set Emma back. She had locked the door behind her, stared at herself in the mirror before scoffing and grabbed a small bottle out of her purse.

She lined up a white line of coke.

And took it with Peter's voice in her head, _'I made you, and I can break you. You're nothing without me.'_

Emma leaned back, almost fell back, into the wall. She shut her eyes softly, feeling the rush run through her body and her mind finally go blank. The feeling of sadness washed away as best as it could.

She tried to prepare herself again as she opened her eyes and went to go back downstairs.

**AU: Another chapter guys! Please review! Will Emma be okay? What's happening with Sean? Maybe now that he's older, it isn't some crush on Emma anymore but now a deep, deeper feeling? Hmmm? Also, give me a side plot for Manny and Jay other than the wedding! **


	4. He Really Did A Number On You

"I was so afraid Sean had ruined your night, but you came back downstairs like the life of the party." giggled Manny, sitting next to Emma's on her apartments couch.

Manny lived with Jay now, I know, how horrible, they weren't even married yet! But Jay and Manny didn't care for those traditions, they weren't the ordinary couple. They were more.

Emma just groaned, putting her head into her hands. Maybe she partied **too** much last night.

After coming out from her 'secret session' in the bathroom, she went downstairs like Sean's words had never hurt her. She drank, and even drank more with Alex Nunez. You had to know something was up by then, but it seemed Manny didn't recognize a problem.

Not until she asked, "You hungry?" she got up, "We got bagels, cereal-"

"No thanks."

Manny turned from her fridge, her perfectly shaped eyebrows furrowed a little by confusion. "Emma I haven't seen you eat since you've got here."

Emma swallowed hard, and looked around the room for an excuse. With Peter, she never had to lie, he knew.. .and lying seemed so hard, especially with Manny.

"Don't tell me you're like one of those cliched models." Manny teased, coming back with two apples and making a joke out of it. She handed one out to Emma.

Emma took it, slowly. How could she say no to an apple? Manny would catch on. She took a bite and faked a small laugh. "No, of course not."

"Go get ready!" Manny insists, "Jay has his lunch around 2 so we can meet up at The Dot." she walked off herself, going to take a shower.

Emma sat there, a deep frown on her face. She looked at the apple, even glared a little at it but slowly brought it to her lips, chewing down on it.

She then gasped, feeling her butt viberate. Oh her phone! She must of dropped it in the couch when they got here last night. Actually, that reminded Emma that she should probably look for a place.

When Emma checked caller idea she yelped a bit, standing up and dropping the apple to answer it.

"Diane?!" she answered.

"Emma, hello, I've been trying to reach you for a few days."

"Yea," Emma paused, "I've been...through a lot the past few days."

"I've heard! Toronto. How...downsize of you."

Emma rolled her eyes to the remark. New Yorkers; so rude. She rounded the couch to go to the kitchen. "So?" she asked, "Did you get my message?"

"Emma. I **loved **working with you. You had great potential! You're beautiful, you're even very smart-"

"Thankyou."

"But. I don't have any connections in Toronto and from what I know here in New York, nobody wants to work with you. Peter has tarnished your career, blackmailed and even paid people off to promise not to do work with you."

Emma's blood boiled. "**He was**-" Emma stopped from shouting, hoping Manny didn't hear and lowered her voice, "He was the one who got me INTO the business."

"And apparently he wants you out, sweetie. You made him miserable, he'll make you miserable. Maybe moving to Toronto was a good idea. I'm sorry, Emma. Best of luck."

Emma angrily hung up with that and cursed out loud, throwing her phone at the ground.

(((**))

"What a jerk!" exclaimed Manny madly, opening the Dot's door for Emma.

Emma wore her mini jean shorts and a white tank top. Her hair was still blown out like she was at the salon this morning, and she still wore her best 'fuck me' pumps. It was habit. Only the best for the best.

She looked miserable though, walking to a booth with Manny until someone from the counter turned around.

"Nelson, didn't know you had such a party girl in you." teased Alex. Spinner was across the counter and turned to laugh and nod.

Emma groaned and just picked up the menu to really just stick her face in it.

((**))

"I can fit a whole Spin-sandwich in my mouth right now after fixing up that mustang all morning." growled Jay, leading Sean just down the street to the Dot for lunch.

Sean snickered and nodded, wearing his jeans and work white wife beater with a few car stains on it with a red and white plaid unbottoned shirt over it. He had his blue bandana rag tucked into his back pocket and Jay just wore their garage dark grey bodysuit jumper and his backwards hat on.

They jogged into the Dot, for Sean to slow down when he grabbed the door from Jay and saw just who they were eating lunch with. Jay never warned him.

He exhaled, not knowing where his breath went and looked away as Emma looked up. He followed behind Jay, looking as if he didn't notice her either.

Why the hell could he not catch his breath!?

"Morning beautiful." Jay greeted, leaning down and kissed Manny before sitting across from them.

Emma was tucked in the corner beside Manny on the other side of the booth, so was thankful Jay took the spot across from her, even though he probably didn't even know it.

Sean took the other outter spot across from Manny as he pulled in.

"What can I get you guys?" Spinner asked, coming over as Alex turned her stool from the counter and came to sit on the end of the booth table between Sean and Manny.

"Pizza for me." Alex ordered.

Manny tapped her finger on the menu before passing it back over to Spinner, "Salad and orange juice."

"the usual." was all Jay had to grumble as he was trick to flick a hair off his pants.

Sean nodded, knowing he had his own 'regular' order too.

Emma, meanwhile, was panicking hard. They were **all **ordering food. Suddenly, eyes were all on her and she muttered to Manny. "I need to go to the bathroom."

Manny had moved for her, but noticed Emma looking upset or something. Manny too caught Sean's wondering eye, wondering what was wrong with her too.

So... it wasn't just Manny noticing something was up?

"Soooooo should I also get her the spinwhich?" Spinner slowly asked, since not getting the order.

Manny bit the end of her tongue, glancing back where Emma went. She'd been dodging food remarks and meals since she got here...she wasn't stupid. She knew what was going on.

"Yea." was all she said. She tried to avoid looking at Sean, who was eyeing her curiously now too.

How had it taken her two days to see but Sean just a moment to realise something was up with Emma? Manny felt like a terrible friend, and she got up to go to the bathroom.

Her and Emma needed to talk.

(((**)))

Emma had lifted her shirt just a little to look at her flat stomach, but to her, in the girls washroom mirror, she saw fat.

She whined silently before dropping her shirt and then taking a deep breath. She turned to the paper towels and grabbed one, whipping her mouth.

She had never done _that _in a while. She wasn't a fan of the bulimia way, but this called for desperate measures. They were probably going to make her eat.

"What is your problem?" Emma gasped and whipped around to the fired up Manuela Santos.

She couldn't believe Emma was doing this to herself!

"You're not eating?" Manny snapped, putting her hands on her hips and waited impatiently for an answer.

"Oh Manny, please." Emma said, rolling her eyes and going to the sink to wash her hands. "Ofcourse I eat. I gotta live, right?"

The brunette nodded, "Sure... like a few bites of an apple here and there?" Manny sarcastically asked and stepped behind her as Emma tried to ignore her. "That's not enough! You're going to make yourself sick. My god, you already sound a bit delusional! How long has this been happening?"

"It's **not **happening." Emma hissed, turning around to Manny with a fire in her eyes, "Okay? I don't know what you're getting at but-"

"Then why are you getting so mad?" Manny shot back, and Emma shut up.

Silence.

Manny watched as the torment played in Emma's eyes, and she now noticed how different Emma seemed. She wasn't the Emma that Manny knew so well. Where was the girl who ate a full bag of chips with Manny during a soap opera show? Or the Emma who tried to shove her vegan food down everyones throat. Emma even use to love to cook with Snake all the time.

_**This **_wasn't Emma. But while Manny stared her down, she could notice the haunt in Emma's eyes who too knew what she was probably thinking.

"Peter really did a number on you." Manny whispered, trying to fight off tears now.

Emma looked back at her, her mouth dropping a bit and never felt so hurt in a matter of years like Manny's comment just hurt her.

Manny looked down and tried to change the subject, "Fine. If nothings wrong, I just ordered you the Dot's specail then. You should be hungry by now. We've been up since morning and it's now lunch. Plus, that hangover should be wanting a nice meal."

She walked off, leading Emma out who stood there like she was in quick sand.

((*))

Jay, Sean and Alex had already dug into their food by the time the girls came out. Dot's specail, burger with tons of cheese and lettuce with cripsy fries.

Emma sat down with disgust written across her face. SHe glanced at Manny who sat down next after her. Manny wouldn't even dig into her salad until Emma picked up a fry or something.

Sean felt the tension, looking up from gulping his water.

Alex had gotten up, everything but the last of fries eaten. "I got to run for my shift at work." she told them, laying down a 10 dollar bill. "Later guys."

The guys waved to her goodbye. The girls though, Manny wouldn't take her eyes off of Emma and Emma was having quite enough of it. She was even feeling a little dizzy.

"I don't eat meat." Emma declared, pushing the plate away.

Sean narrowed his eyes now, glancing down at the plate and then at Emma. You see, Emma could hide well what was going on, but it was Manny's hard gaze towards Emma that said it all. She wanted Emma to eat.

Why?

"Eat the fries." Manny declared, raising an eyebrow at Emma like it was **that **simple.

Jay was huffing down his meal, not noticing a thing at all. Sean though, was connecting the dots too quickly.

Sean eyed Emma down hard, and Emma found herself wanting to scream at Manny for doing this in front of everyone.

She grabbed a fry and ate it, giving Manny a tight, fake smile. "There." she said, "It's good." she turned back to her plate, picking up more fries.

_Oh my god it tastes so good, _she thought, _**So good that it'll probably leave stretch marks on your thighs. **_

Emma's face dropped miserably, looking around and took her water, gulping it down. She spoke again, as she felt Sean's eyes on her and tried to explain to the two, "I just don't like eating things that's been touched or placed by meat."

"Yea." was all Manny said, rather bitterly.

Sean now was confused.

"More water?" Came the other waitress, Holly J. She gasped, noticing what Emma was wearing. "Is that J lo's line? Those shoes?" she almost squeeled.

Emma looked up at the copper haired girl, and down at her Dot's uniform. How did she know that? Emma glanced down at her feet and nodded. "Yea."

"Aren't they worth a fortune?!" Holly J asked.

Manny and Jay shared a look of amusement. Usually Holly J wasn't so nice, but seeing someone who had money and good fashion also must of made her giddy. Holly J use to be rich, but her parents had lost that money in highschool, until Holly J met her boyfriend Declan and could buy the upper class clothes again. Still though, she kept her job at the Dot that she got when her parents were broke because it set her back to reality, and she learned a few things like money wasn't **everything. **

"They were a gift." Emma insisted, knowing her old friends were giving her a look now. Emma Nelson spending tons of money on over rated things?

"Didn't know you were all into that 'material' shit now." Sean muttered out loud, while taking another sip of water.

Jay even mouthed 'wow' and lowered his head, waiting for Emma to explode. But Emma sat there, kind of embarrassed. What was she now? Some new Paige Michealchuck?

"I'm going to go." she told Manny, waiting for the girl to squish out so she could leave.

Manny's mouth fell and she saddened, "Wait, no Em-" she was sorry she was acting this way, but she didn't want her best friend doing this to herself.

Manny had no other choice but to get up, seeing the look on Emma's face. It wasn't a happy one, but it wasn't an angry one either. She was just fed up, exhausted, torn down.

Sean too mentally kicked himself. Strike two. It was his fault again.

When the three now sat there without Emma, they glanced at another until Sean scoffed and got up.

He went after Emma.

((((**)))

"Can we talk?" Sean shouted over a honk from on coming traffic on the road. He was following Emma up main street on the sidewalk.

She knew his voice, and didn't need to turn, "What about?" she tried to end it with that, crossing the street with a famous j walk, just to get away from him.

Who did she think she was dealing with? Sean easily followed and crossed the busy road also, jogging past a car waiting impatiently for him and had even honked.

"I don't know, anything." he threw his arms out, now on the other side of the street with her and on the sidewalk again.

Sean's reply made her laugh a little from ahead. Why did he want to talk to her so bad?

She wasn't specail.

Emma scoffed when a family of 6 exited a bakery shop, causing her to stop and Sean had caught up to her.

She turned to him, sighing a little but didn't look at him until he spoke, and he gave her that look, the Sean Cameron is being serious right now look. And she fell into it in a trance.

"I just, want to explain..why I'm..such an asshole?" he was a loss of words, cause he didn't know why he was being one either frankly. "And I'm sorry." at least that sounded sincere.

Emma had to smile a bit, crossing her lovely beautiful arms across her chest. "You **have **been an asshole." she agreed, nodding.

He smirked a bit, happy that she was softening up a little. "Can this asshole show you something?" he glanced beside the bakery

Beside the bakery, was Camerons Garage. It was big, but not too large for a shop in mid town, and it looked like it was getting good business, with tons of other mechanics working on cars as Emma glanced inside the open shop

She put it together after a moment. "Yours?"

His smirk turned into a proud grin, nodding and looking at it with her until he tugged her hand to follow.

Goosebumps ran up her arm, but she let him lead her inside.

**Author note: I was nice and did another chapter! But you guys aren't reviewing so I'm stopping here. **


	5. How Could She Say No?

**I got more reviews! So thankyou! Here's another chapter! Keep the reviews coming, and I'll keep the chapters coming! **

((**))

"Hey boss, whose your friend?" a passing mechanic in the Cameron's jumpsuit asked.

Emma kept closely behind Sean as he led her around his shop, "Get lost, Franky." Sean said so calmly.

Emma smiled quietly, tucking her hair behind her ear. They stopped at the 'front' desk, which was more in the middle of the garage.

There were papers everywhere, Sean sheepishly grinned a bit while he caught her looking around the desk with a big blink and quick glance toward him. Was he going to clean that up?

"Manny is our front desk girl." Sean told her.

"Ah," Emma said playfully nodding. "She's very.." she noticed one paper slip off the desk and fly slowly to the ground, landing by their feet, "Organized."

Sean had to laugh, though ego a bit hit. Yea. He needed to talk to Manny about that one. "I'd do it myself but I'm so busy with my own paperwork. It's not like I can yell at her, she's Manny. Plus, I need Jay." he joked.

"Boss." another worker called by a blue pick up truck. Emma cringed when loud noises like screw drivers were heard.

Sean looked over his shoulder to look at who called him.

"Your girl friend called." the guy noted before noticing Emma, and smirked with a wink before getting back to work.

Sean clenched his jaw. He slowly turned back to Emma who raised an eyebrow. Girlfriend, huh?

"Ex." Sean insists, and lifted his hand to itch the back of his neck. He tried to remain cool. "We're going through.." he drifted off, as his gaze on her did too. "_Shit_."

Emma snickered knowingly, "Well, if you wanted to talk about it, I'm really good with the subject right now."

"I'm sure this break up wasn't as big or meaningful as yours, I mean," his gaze turned a little hard as he remembered, "You were engaged to the guy." he looked down, leaning back on the front desk behind them.

He blinked, remembering that's actually why him and Ellie broke up. He didn't want to get engaged. "..Which was actually the problem with me and El-"

Sean stopped there. For some reason, he didn't want Emma to know that his ex was Ellie. She'd think it was more serious than it actually was. Ellie had plans that Sean just didn't want with her.

"El-Elsa." he corrected. Jesus, he had to stop watching Frozen when it was on repeat on his tv.

"Elsa?" Emma had to repeat. He swallowed. "That's a pretty name." she shrugged, and then leaned back on the desk beside him, taking in the garages surrounding again. Sean had **really **done a good job. She was proud of him.

Sean felt her shoulder brush his, and he looked down, glancing at it. He then eyed her, without her noticing, and he softened as he saw the way her hair just smoothly fell around her shoulders. Her skin, so soft and tanned; golden.

"Show me around more," Emma said, turning her head to look at him also with one of her real big smiles.

He smirked and nodded, guiding her around. The two had caught up and by an hour or two later, Sean ordered pizza.

"Double cheese?"

Emma turned from trying to organize those papers on the front desk, into folders. "Huh?"

Sean was peaking out of his office with his phone attached to his ear. "Double cheese pizza?" he repeated. Took the delivery guy to come in an hour so they should be hungry by then. It was already 6.

Emma's shoulders dropped, but her heart raced. _Double cheese, _He remembered. HOW could she say no?

"Sure." she smiled softly.

He grinned with those famous dimples of his and shut his office door to order in peace and quiet. His workers could be so fucking loud with all the drills and hammering.

When he walked out, he slowed down his pace towards Emma. "Jesus."

Emma blushed, but smiled and laid the last folder in a pile on the desk. Everything even cleaned up and dusted with the furnish spray on the end of the table.

He had to chuckle, and blinked while feeling quiet impressed and rather greatful. Manny would of never done that.

He then eyed her, and squinted his eyes. "Are you working here yet? You're staying right?"

Emma softly laughed, mostly at herself, as she rolled her eyes and sat back on a chair. "I don't know anymore." she admitted, "I feel wierd staying with Jay and Manny. My parents moved to Alberta with Jack, so I can't go there. I don't even have a job to get my own place." she mumbled.

"Work here." **Shit . **_Do I sound desperate? What the hell is wrong with me?_

"What?" Emma had to hear it again.

Sean took a deep breath and shrugged. What the hell. "Work here, at front desk." he looked around it, still amazed she cleaned it up so fast and organized it. I mean, he wasn't TOO shocked, she'd always been organized and smart like that, but his shop never had someone like her in it

It'd be perfect.

She leaned back in the chair, smirking to the idea of it. She crossed her arms, then legs and teased, "What would you pay me?"

Sean was staring for a moment before snapping out of it. Did she have to wear low cut shirts and skirts like she did? And those heels? Fuck. He just wanted to take those smooth legs of hers and spread them- "UH." he loudly said out loud, shutting his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

Emma tilted her head curiously, waiting.

Sean cursed himself. If he could barely stop drooling, he was sure his boys here would treat Emma like a piece of meat. Then again, she could always handle herself. Sean knew she could.

"16 bucks an hour?" he asked, cringing a bit. He knew it was probably not like her pay in New York. "Free fix ups on your car?" he tried to fit in, grinning a bit.

Emma thought about it. It was nothing like the thousands she made just for modeling for a magazine cover...but, she was for some reason sold on it. Hmm, Sean's front desk girl at his car garage.

"Deal." she said, putting her hand out and he smirked before taking it. She yelped a little when he picked her back up on her feet, like she wieghed nothing and she stared back into his eyes.

"Hm," he huskily teased, just an inch away from her lips. "Emma _Nelson, _working for me."

Emma lost her breath. Her heart rate was getting faster, and faster, oh my god, too fast! He needed to take a step back.

Her hazel eyes locked up on his baby blues and his smirked widened.

She swallowed and tried to resort back, "Desperate time calls for desperate measures." with that, she walked around him, letting his hand go and she hid her own smirk.

Take that, Cameron!

Sean stood there, blown away. HeY! That was offensive!

An hour had gone by, and the double cheese pizza had arrived. It took Emma a few minutes, and for Sean to already be on his second one, before she picked one up and slowly ate it.

She couldn't believe she was doing it.

Now, before they knew it, it was already 9pm and his workers had gone home. They sat alone with another in the closed garage, on a back seat couch that was pulled out from a convertible and set against a wall. It was leather, and Emma leaned back on it comfortably, her legs crossed, heels off. Sean leaned back on it too, sipping a beer bottle he had in his office mini fridge.

"Damn." he noticed the time, glancing up at the clock over the tool bar.

"I should get going." Emma blushed. What was this pull Sean Cameron always had on her?

He watched her get up with his mouth parted a bit open; wishing he could think of something to make her stay.

Fuck. This was the reason wasn't it? He wanted her to stay because he wanted _**her **_. He still felt things for her. He never stopped..

"Wait, one more thing." he said and she turned, shocked.

Wasn't getting annoyed with her?

He smiled and pointed with his beer as he got up, "Come see my office."

"You're way too proud." giggled Emma, following after him towards the door that read 'Sean Cameron'.

He turned the light on, turning to her with a grin. "Well, who thought I'd end up here?" he stood in his very well done and designed bachelor looking office. He had his own couch, and tv mounted to the wall. He must work late hours cause the couch had a blanket on it, and he had a fridge and microwave in here too. Emma walked around his own desk that had piles of papers on the one side, a phone on the other, and-

"I did." Emma admitted. She always knew he was going to either own his own business, or be the star of someone elses. She never felt so good for him before. Good for him.

Sean was walking over to her, moving his office chair in the meantime. He got lost looking at her, and snapped out of it when she caught him. "Yea, you did." his voice deepened, his eyes serious and taking her in. She was beautiful.

"Um," she scratched her arm, leaning back on his desk as he unknowingly trapped her against it. She gazed up at him under her eyelashes, "I should go." she whispered. Her heart was pounding.

Sean blinked, and looked down, noticing the bare space between them. He wanted to kiss her so bad right there, grab her against him and kiss her senseless but he knew better.

...she probably wasn't over that ex fiancé of hers.

He stepped back and coughed lightly, "Yea, let me drive you." he dug into his pocket for his keys until Emma shook her head, walking away from him.

Why did he suddenly feel so empty?

"No it's okay." she insisted, and stopped at his office door, sending him a playful smile that she had to of known just made her look slightly naughty, and overly seductive. "See you on Monday, _**boss**_."

His pants tightened.

She walked out.

"Fuck." he breathed out deeply, shakily

(((**)))

Emma couldn't stop smiling, dipping her tea bag into her green tea the next morning. Her hair was done already and make up on, wearing a tight but respectable Lauren Conrads designer dress that was white and strapless. A nice summer dress for May 1st. Which was today.

Manny had come in with a towel around her body as she gave Emma a knowing look and smile, "Someone's got that Sean Cameron lovebug glow again." she went over to the sink, twisting her long hair to empty water out of it.

Emma looked up, and her smile faded. "No I don't." she lied. "I'm just..happy. I found a job!" she forgot to mention what.

"**With **Camerons garage." came another taunting and knowing voice. Jay. He was in a towel too and Emma shook her head in disgust, shutting her eyes.

This was the last thing she wanted to see! Jay naked.

"Okay, that's it!" she stood up from the table, "Where's your newspaper? I need to look for a new place."

Manny and Jay laughed, watching Emma walk off and Jay pulled Manny into his arms, kissing her deeply and when she returned the kiss between her giggles, his hand slightly ran up the space in her towel.

"JAY!" Manny exclaimed, pulling away and smacked his bare chest. "We have guests!"

He rolled his eyes, "Who already knows we went at it in the shower, and are about to again." he raised an eyebrow but scoffed when she walked off.

((**)))

"Morning boss," joked Jay in greetment to Sean when he walked in. "Rough night?"

Sean had barely slept again, someone was intruding his dreams. He rubbed his eyes and looked up from the car he was working on and blinked. "What?"

Jay grinned and shook his head, walking to the empty front desk and wondering what his jobs were today.

Emma wasn't starting until tomorrow. Jay couldn't wait to see how flustered Sean would be then. "Uh oh." Jay then said, looking up to see who was walking into the auto shop.

Ellie. And today, oddly, she swore bright colors. A yellow sundress, her red hair burning and green eyes popped out. "Hey." she softly greeted Sean.

Sean squinted his eyes at her. He was **that **tired. "El.." he drifted off, walking over and Jay stood awkwardly in between. What was she doing here?

"I was thinking," Ellie said, before narrowing her eyes at Jay to leave. She wanted to talk to Sean alone.

Jay just smirked and leaned back in entertainment.

"Go." Sean said, warningly. He wasn't in the mood. Jay rolled his eyes but went. Sean crossed his arms and turned back to Ellie.

"Are we...together?" Ellie had to ask.

Sean's mouth opened, and he was wordless. He didn't think they were, but they were still having sex since she came back from after vanishing when he admitted to her he didn't want to get married. But the past few days, she'd been giving him space.

"I don't know." he admitted, furrowing his thick shaped eyebrows.

"I think the space we are giving another is a good idea." Ellie confirms, "Maybe we need more of it. It gives me time to think about everything, and gives you the time to miss me." she teased.

He smiled sadly, and awkwardly itched the back of his neck, "Ellie I don't-"

"A month."

He blinked and turned his head, confused, "A month?" he repeated.

"I'll give you a month to tell me if you want to get married or not."

He was speechless.

She added, "We don't have to get married or anything right away Sean, I just need you to tell me your ready. I need you to be committed before I waste any more time in the relationship, so I'll keep my distance, and you think about it."

"Oh...kay." Sean needed a nap. The past week had been too much. This, and even being almost raped by ex highschool fling Amy, and then Emma Nelson's sudden appearance back in town. It was all too much.

Ellie leaned in, and kissed him deeply. He kissed back lightly, still confused and she pulled away.

Jay had looked back over, over hearing everything from where he stood by all the tools. He even gave a wierd look while Ellie walked off. Sean stood there, frozen. 'Elsa' style .

"So..." Jay had to ask, "Does this mean your back together?" He watched Sean turn, and storm off.

"Have no fucking idea," growled Sean, going back to his office and slammed the door closed. He went to his couch, pulling it out into the bed it could turn into and laid on it, shutting his eyes and huffing.

Time for that damn nap he needed, badly.


	6. The Love Of His Life

So far, not so bad. First day of work was going well with Emma, who was driven here by Jay, and then even showed around, by **Jay. **As Jay went over saftey issues and such, Emma cornered her eyes at the office with the blinds shut.Was Sean avoiding her or something?

"Bathroom?" Emma suddenly asked, cutting Jay off.

He blinked and looked around, "uhh, down the hall, to your left."

She nodded, and walked to it, clenching her purse to her shoulder tighter. She locked the door behind her, and turned to look at herself in the mirror. She had been so _stupid, _and even dressed up. Black high waist skirt, and white blouse. Her hair curled. Who was she trying to impress?

"Stupid." she muttered to herself, putting her purse down on the sink and got her health card out, then her small bottle of coke that was running low.

She was going to have to find a dealer soon here in Toronto. "Damn." she whispered. She was probably only going to get 4 more lines out of this.

And she took one, now, on her health card on the sink. Call it a need for courage, and a pick me up.

Sean hadn't come out all day, until the end, when she was finishing up. Some workers were even punching out, leaving and some even saying goodbye to her. They liked her, hot as hell, but also didn't take shit, and was smart. She shut Franky up as soon as he tried to hit on her in front of all the guys when Jay was showing her around. Now, Franky even respected her.. was a little afraid of her too.

"Later Em." he even used her nickname, and left after her slight smile back at him.

Sean had stopped, watching the two interact and his stomach turned. He didn't like that. He narrowed his eyes watching Franky leave out of site and then he cleared his throat before he greeted her, leaning on the front of the desk she sat at, "Hey."

She barely looked up and glanced back down to staple some last papers together. "_Hey_."

Sean furrowed his eyebrows together, what was her problem? He then bit the end of his tongue. She probably knew he was hiding in his office like a little baby from her or something. He was just, so confused right now. Ellie didn't make things better either.

"Jay said you did pretty good today." he was glad, he wanted her to stay. His boys took a liking to her too, and not just in a piggish way..thankfully.

_He would know_. Emma thought bitterly. Why had Sean turned from hot to so damn cold?

She looked up though and bared a fake smile at her new 'boss', "Yup."

"What's wrong? Why are you acting like .. this?" he looked around her, not knowing how to explain it. Was she mad at him?

"Acting how? Nothing's wrong." she set the attention on him for once, "Are **you** okay?" she raised an eyebrow.

Sean swallowed and just nodded. "Fine." He was just fucking dandy. He walked off, but not before he snapped a few more words to her, "If you're going to work here and wear skirts, make sure they're at least knee high length."

Jay even looked up from the car hood he worked under, eyes wide and slowly turning his head as he feared Emma's reaction to that. Not even **Jay Hogart **would say something like that, above all to someone like Emma Nelson.

Shit.

Sean had closed the door before he could see Emma's face get red, and she had got up, stomping her heels to his office. Sean looked up from his desk, shocked when he heard someone even open his door, but also whipped it open so hard it slammed against his wall.

Emma stood there, a firey glare he knew too well, "I quit." she informed. It wasn't even the end of the day yet!

Sean's eyes widened, watching her storm off and some employees of his did too, before peaking into Sean's office, wondering what the hell he did to the poor girl who was an angel to them. She had really cleaned the garage up and organized everything let alone helped other late shipments come in earlier to make work easier. She also did inventory on everything. It seemed she liked math.

"EMMA!"

She ignored his shout, grabbing her purse from her desk before she turned and almost ran into him. His breath was unsteady, eyes wild.

"Don't go."

Emma snapped back, "I couldn't put up with your tempers in highschool, Sean and I still can't-"

"I'm sorry." he gave her begging eyes she couldn't walk away from. She glared at him harder for that. He went on, "I have a lot of shit going on right now. But Emma, the stuff you did today, it really helped, got things off my shoulders. **Please** don't go. Please put up with my ungrateful ass for one more day. . " he smiled sadly.

Emma eyed him up and down, not too sure. God! What was up with him?

He sneered under his breath, "It's probably this fucking shipment order that has me stressed out." he lifted a clipboard off her desk that he also had on his desk, but it wasn't getting done.

Emma softened, watching him focus hard on it, trying to get something he didn't understand. "Let me see."

He looked up, confused, "Hmm?"

"Let me see." she said again, more sternly, and gave him a look that read if he didn't do it now, she was walking out.

He quickly gave it over, and crossed his arms over his chest, backing up to give her room even. He watched as she read the contract, and her eyes followed intently on every word. She bit her lip as she seemed to focus too on it, but this time, she understood it and played it out easy for him.

She shrugged, handing it back. "Tell them you'll cancel your agreement with them, that you found someone else who can ship your supplies faster than they can. When they try to bribe you to stay with them, deny them again and hang up. Guaranteed they'll call you back begging and bring your order by tomorrow, plus give you the bribe they tried with first hand.."

From behind a blown away Sean, stared a few other employees of Sean's.

"Can we keep her boss?" joked little Randy, still only a senior in highschool.

Emma finally burst out a smile, and Sean too chuckled, looking down and nodding.

(((((((((((******))))))))))))

"Eat it."

"Manny don't. Not Today." Emma scoffed, feeling Manny's breath down her neck the next day. She had made pasta for Manny and Jay, for their hospitality, and she _was _going to eat too. Only, suddenly, she wasn't hungry okay? Jay had left after eating it all, and Manny wouldn't go until Emma ate.

"That's it, I'm calling a Doctor." Manny said, going to her cell phone on the counter.

"They can't force me to eat, Manny." Emma said quite bitterly, and now her body problem was on the table. She had admitted it.

Manny stared, baffled by her reply.

Emma got up and sadly walked to the bathroom, "I'm going to shower and go to bed. I'm looking for places tomorrow".

((**))

The next day, Emma followed old friend and realtor Liberty Van Zandt around an apartment building.

"Lib, it's so nice." Emma feared, biting her lip. "I don't know if I can take it." Correction, she didn't know if she could **afford **it.

Liberty turned, and my had she grown up. Hair down, in big smooth curls. Her big smile lit up and green eyes flashed as she mentioned, "I got a good deal for you. You're like family after all."

"How much?" Emma feared, but looked around the big white kitchen with love in her eyes.

"800 a month. Tenants in this building are actually paying 1900."

Wow, that was good! Emma sucked in a deep breath, "I don't know."

"I think a girl like you, out of all that you've been through..." Liberty cringed and insisted, "You deserve it."

"My **own** place." Emma whispered, liking the ring to it. Peter had always bought everything for her. Since when did she change into a girl like that? She was loving this feeling, doing something for herself. Independent!

She squealed and hugged Liberty who laughed, "Are you taking it?!"

"I'm taking it!"

Liberty nodded and lifted a finger, "Just one more thing, a minor set back but nothing you can't fix with a man or .. someone you know." she said awkwardly, forgetting for a split second Emma was single. She then stopped at the sink in the kitchen to show Emma the problem with it, before she opened it though, she gasped and closed the under cupboard.

Emma gave her a wierd look until Liberty whispered, "Is what I'm hearing true? The rumors?"

Emma shrugged cluelessly and crossed her arms, "What?" she asked. She waited impatiently to be shown this 'sink problem'.

"You and Sean Cameron are picking up where you two picked off years ago?" Liberty had to smirk a little, eyeing Emma up and down. She was always so soft on that bad boy. But Liberty liked Sean, he was a real 'tough cookie' . . and she knew he'd always have a weak spot for Emma too.

Emma's heart stopped, and her face went a shade of red. "Liberty! We're **friends. **He's helping me out and got me a job at his shop."

"Wow, he really made something of himself, didn't he?" She winked, "Bad boy turned into responsible and successful mechanic? Let alone still fine as ever, if not more."

Emma wanted to lung at her, but took a deep breath and gave up. She was right. He was so irresistible to begin with and that just made it harder. He was perfect. And he owned her heart even when she was just 12 years old. She had no idea she would fall in love with him all over again...harder this time. She had no idea she'd even SEE him again!

"Anyways," Liberty walked to her briefcase and grabbed some papers out, "Lets sign a lease, and go out for drinks to celebrate!"

(((***)))

Sean knew he was setting himself up by driving with Jay to Rex, a bar in town that he knew Emma was going to. Jay said the girls were celebrating the fact she was home, and got an apartment today.

Sean was happy for her, and wanted to be there tonight too.

"Jesus." he heard and turned his head from driving to look at Jay looking at him, and he then snickered.

Sean gave him a look, "What?" he snapped. Why was Jay looking at him like that? Asshole.

"It's all over your face man." Jay sat up, "You can't even hide it anymore! That girls got you wrapped around her finger again only it's more severe this time. You look like you're ready to propose to this girl and it's Ellie whose been having a hard time just trying to make you commit...and she's your girlfriend!" he laughed hard.

Emma was always the flown away dove in Sean's life. Something he let go, and waited for to return. But it was always so complicated between the two, even when all grown up. They were from such separate worlds, but opposites always attract.

Sean couldn't let her go this time.

Sean clenched his jaw, trying to focus on the road but let Jay's words sink in. He knew. He knew he was falling for Emma hard again. He was trying to stop, but she was his one. **The **one. He felt horrible because Jay was right, Emma could get anything out of Sean that Ellie just begged a little for. He had to end it with her or, forget about Emma. He was sure he wasn't able to really, truly, do that.

Meanwhile, at the bar, Emma was sitting with Liberty, and Manny and Jane had just got there. This was Alex's bar, and she brought shots over. The bar was crowded, music thumping, and guys everywhere. The girls looked great too, but Manny still looked upset over this morning

When she sat, Emma slid a shot towards her, and gave her a pleading look. "Can you just be happy for me? Just tonight?" she begged Manny, wanting her to share this with her.

Manny locked eyes with her, and softened. "Of course." she nodded and they smiled at another sadly before Manny, with her married hand, picked up her shot glass and took it. Her ring from Jay was steady on her finger, showing the diamond off.

Emma took hers too, and she wasn't a big drinker but tonight she would be. She had her 3rd last line from her last bottle of blow too before she came here. .

"To Emma!" Liberty cheered.

"Can we get more shots?" laughed Jane to Alex who laughed and nodded, leaving to go get some. When she returned, the girls were already hammered.

"Alex, stay!" her best friends fiance insisted, grabbing Alex down to sit next to her.

Alex rolled her eyes at Manny but smiled and nodded, taking an extra shot she had left for them. "Fine!"

The five of them took more shots.

"My man!" Jane cheered, seeing Spinner come into the bar and squishing through some people to come over and he pulled a chair up next to her, grinning.

"You guys are hammered already?" he looked around, needing to get an order of beer for himself and his boys who were comin.

"My man!" Manny also chimed in, when Sean and Jay made it to the table and Jay snickered to how wild and drunk she was right now. They hadn't partied hard in a while.

Time to celebrate I guess!

The guys sat as Sean and Emma glanced at another. Something deep inside her also cheered for 'her man' being there too. But he wasn't exactly **hers**, was he? She wondered how that thing with him and 'Elsa' was going.

After a few more rounds, Liberty had called it quits so she could go home to JT. If she knew the guys were going to invade girls night, she would of brought him too. Then when Alex left, it left Emma and Sean sitting next to another now, Jay, Manny, Spinner and Jane still at the table too.

"I can't do another." Sean declared, swallowing his last shot as Emma too had to push hers away.

Emma teased him, turning her body more towards him, "Well, I do have to admit you can take alcohol better than you did when we were kids."

He playfully glared and grinned, "Don't remind me."

"He also has a more better temper than before." Manny insisted, on top of Jay's lap now as he played cards at the table with Spinner and Jane.

"His big head has also grown into his body." said Jay with a side smirk, glancing up at his buddy from his cards.

Sean furrowed his eyebrows, a little drunkenly, "I never had a **big **head."

Manny snorted and laughed, putting her face into Jay's neck to giggle. Jay laughed and was the DD tonight so rested his cards down and wrapped his arm around Manny. "Alright, we're leaving. You need a ride, Emma?"

"I'm good." Emma said, smiling as her friend yelped when Jay just tossed his drunk fiance over his shoulder and left.

Manny yelped again out the door when he hit his hand on her ass. "JAY!"

Sean snickered, shaking his head and turning back to Emma. "Do you-"

"We're headed out too." announced Jane, getting up with Spinner and waved with a smile. "Best of luck with your new place Emma."

Emma smiled happily, waving back and then turned back to Sean. She got nervous butterfly's in her stomach. Her, him, all alone now. He looked **good **tonight too. God, how was she going to resist temptation now? She was already struggling with one addiction, she didn't need another..

But Sean was so, lame as it sounded, beautiful. Perfect. In fact, she was shocked the college girls by the bar that were drooling over him all night didn't even come over to say hi. He wasn't **that **scary. Nope, this bad boy had a heart that he didn't show a lot of people, but he had one, and Emma knew it.

Emma's smiled faded when she locked eyes with him again, and he just had to give her one simple look to make her knees weak. "You tired?" he asked so gently.

"No." she shook her head, smiling softly again at him.

He looked down, softly starting to smile too and glanced back up. He didn't want to leave either. "What do you want to do?"

She looked up, as she did as she actually was wondering. It was the most adorable thing. "Want to come see my new apartment? It's just down the street. I don't have any more drinks, but I have ice cream."

Scratch that, the last tenants had the ice cream in there... but whatever.

"Sure." he grinned.

((((***))))

"No furniture yet. That's tomorrows plan." Emma told Sean, closing her door behind him and led him through her new, dark, and bare apartment.

It was nice, just needed exactly that. Furniture.

"But I got my mattress already at least." Emma told him, and the bed with only a black bed cover on it laid on the living room floor, in front of her window. It over looked downtown Toronto.

She dropped her purse off her arm and sighed. Thank god! That thing was heavy. She sat on the edge of the bed, and Sean slowly walked over, dragging his fingers through his hair as he watched his feet get closer and closer.

The lights weren't on, the only light they had was out the window that was from the street lights outside. He saw her clearly though, and swallowed at how gorgeous she looked, looking up at him with some hope and pride in her eyes. She was so happy, with _this, _her own place.

He felt like Peter hurt her a lot, and he would turn in his grave if he ever let Peter, or another guy, hurt her again.

Emma's heart fluttered, seeing the way he was looking at her. She opened her mouth, until something caught his eye.

"Sean I need-"

"What is _that?"_

Emma saw his face turn with disbelief, and then anger.

"Emma, what the fuck is that!"

Emma looked down by her feet where he was looking. It was where she dropped her purse. Oh...shit. She carelessly threw it to the ground, causing it to knock over and some of her coke from in her bottle fell out even from the bottle, scattered across the floor.

Oh my god.

Emma looked up, and gasped when he had grabbed her arm, forcing her up from the bed to stand in front of him, to look at him.

"Sean," she gasped a bit painfully. He didn't grab her THAT hard, but without eating or her vitamins and protein, she was quite weak. She tried to grab her arm back but he held tight.

He bent down, grabbing it and holding it to her face, "What the hell is this, Emma!?" he knew enough to know from his highschool days. Lots of kids from the ravine where he use to hang out did it. But Emma- no Emma can't be into this stuff- this wasn't her!

"It's just.." Emma looked off, in shame and with a loss of excuses. She couldn't keep up with them anymore. "Just leave it, okay?"

"Leave it?" he snickered, his voice rising.

Emma flinched and insisted, "I'm holding onto it, for a friend-"

"Don't you fucking _dare_ lie to me." he looked so hurt that she had even tried, but it just showed how badly mixed up in this she was. "You're going to stop."

Her eyes stayed down on the floor until he shook her.

"Tell me you'll stop! Christ! . .Did..did Peter make you do this?" he wasn't dumb, "Come on, Emma. Tell me. Did your ex fiance introduce you to this or not!"

"Yes okay?!" Emma yelled, finally yanking her arm back with a cringe, "But he didn't force me to keep doing it. I make my own choices."

Sean looked unreadable as she backed up away from him, and the way he looked back at her with such disappointment; it killed her inside.

Emma snickered, "Oh, is this how it is now? You judge **me **now?" she turned to go sit back on her bed now, feeling quite cornered. "My have things changed." she said sarcastically.

Sean could barely look at her, shaking his head and looking down. "The real you would never do this to herself."

Emma snapped. Just hearing him say it was like a ticking bomb. "I'm not her, Sean! I'm not the 12 year old you use to know. Fucking christ, I'm 23 years old!"

"I don't expect you to be the same girl, I just expected you to not be an idiot! You're so much smarter than this!"

Emma shook her head, looking away from him and biting back her tears. She bit her lower trembling lip and couldn't look him in the eye again. She felt, so horrible. She raised her hand to rub her throbbing arm.

Sean glanced at her arm when she did that, cringing when he saw a sight bruise from where his thumb was. "Did I hurt you?" he mere whispered.

"Now we're friends again? Now you care?"

"Dammit Emma, I've always cared!"

Emma looked away, looking childish. But her heart dropped and the voice in her head was also calling her an idiot.

Emma bursted into tears then, and Sean's world crumbled around him. The last thing he wanted was for her to cry..but why was she doing this?!

"Em." he bent down to her level, cupping her face but she tried to pull back, closing her eyes and slightly sobbing. He grabbed her chin though, and spoke firmly, "You are still that girl, but you're just holding on by a thread. You don't believe in this shit." he raised the coke bottle, and chucked it to the side of the room

Emma watched it land by her vent.

He whispered, "You just got wrapped up in it." his fingers let go of her chin, to slowly caress the hair that fell into her beautiful face and tucked it behind her ear.

Emma couldn't breathe, and her shimmering eyes stared back into his, looking for a sign that he was feeling the way she did about him, about her. And he did. He couldn't kiss her right now though; even with how badly he wanted to.

He closed his eyes, looking down and clenched his jaw before looking back up at her and rested his hands on the sides of her, on the bed. "Is that the last bottle you have?"

Emma snuffled, nodding and whipped the tear that fell down her cheek but he quickly whiped it with his thumb. She shut her eyes, and he swallowed before nodding and stood up.

"Good. It was your last."

Emma opened her eyes bewildered, "Sean, it hurts too much when I try to stop-"

"Yah Emma, it's called withdrawal."

"No," she shook her head and got up, standing in front of him, "It's like a...a _life _support, a pick me up, sometimes it's the only thing that keeps me going. You don't get it. If I don't have any-"

"Jesus," he pulled her into his strong arms, and she tensed but melted as he nearly craddled her fragile body. Her hands shook, and her fingers felt cold.. Why didn't he notice this sooner?! He knew something was up. But this? Nobody would ever guess this. Not with Emma. "You're practically shaking already, fuck Emma." hurt crossed over his eyes.

She was addicted.

And he was desperate to save her, the love of his life.


	7. The Perfect Storm

_**(Addicted-Enrique Ingl)**_

_**Maybe I'm addicted,  
I'm out of control,  
but you're the drug that keeps me from dying.  
Maybe I'm a liar,  
but all I really know  
is you're the only reason I'm trying.~  
**_

Define Addiction.

What is an addiction? According to Webster's dictionary, an addiction is defined as: "the condition of being addicted (to a habit) or of being an addict; specifically, the habitual use of narcotic drugs.."

"Sean?"

He snapped out of reading, looking up to see Emma waking up, the sun shining in her apartment the next morning

He had not slept. He was on her lap top, looking things up, trying to find ways to help her. He had even googled the definition of addiction. He was desperate. Sue him.

He quickly shut it, before standing up to watch her sit up sleepily in her bed. She could still barely look at him though and looked down at her hands that she rested in her lap. A replay of last night replayed in her head.

"Are you going to tell anyone?" she whispered.

He closed his eyes and sighed, "I don't know what to do, Emma."

She looked up, so puppy like and innocent as eyed at him, it killed him. She nodded though, understanding and then got up from bed, still in her dress from last night.

"I'm going to shower." she snickered half bitterly, half truly humorously, "I'm going to need it if I'm going to spend the next three days-" she paused, "Dying."

She promised him last night she'd go through the withdrawal, and try to fight the addiction. He read up on it, and he knew she was going to need him, even if she insisted she didn't want him to stay. It had a strong effects, and kept people sick for days.

He had even taken work off the next three days to stay here. And when she was gone to go get ready, he picked up the coke bottle by the vent, and dumped it in the sink, watching in slow motion as the water from the sink took it away.

((**))

That night, Emma bit her nails as she sat on her apartment floor. Sean was in the kitchen, getting the pizza he had ordered.

Emma scoffed and said with an annoyed tone, "Sean, I'm really **not** hungry. Please just go. I need to do this by myself."

He came back over, two plates with pizza. "No way, I'm staying."

Emma's blood boiled. "This isn't some dinner and a show. Just leave!"

He answered by biting into his pizza, and shoving a plate toward her which just made her blood boil more and her stomach turn with anger and disgust by the food. Sean just looked at her softly, and leaned back comfortably.

He wasn't going anywhere.

_**I'm wasted away.  
I made a million mistakes.  
Am I too late?oh yeah  
There's a storm in my head;  
it rains on my bed  
when you're not here,oh  
I'm not afraid of dying,  
but I am afraid of losing you.~**_

((**))

"Sean, just go!" Emma shouted from her empty bedroom late that night, after midnight, and outside her windows was a rainstorm.

Her walls echoed since the apartment was still bare and she walked back and forth in it, her arms crossed and quite frustrated. Sounds of thunder crackled around her apartment building, the rain hitting the windows harder.

Why wouldn't he go?! She didn't want him here!

She had locked herself in her room, just wanting him to go and was starting to feel the ache, the need. God she'd even just rather Manny be here! She even insisted he go and get her, but he didn't. He was driving her **mad.**

Or maybe, that was the urge.

She whiped her tears and leaned on the wall; hoping he had left. Sean though, stood on the other side of the door, sadness in his eyes but not leaving.

"I'm not leaving." he said sternly.

((((**)))

Emma was getting sick in her bedroom bathroom that next morning. It was only 6am, and she was already feeling her body feel torn in half. Thank god it was away from Sean, she didn't want him to see her like this.

Her insides were turning, her nose hurt, and she was shaking with need. A beautiful girl like her, hung over a toilet, waiting for the next time the urge to puke came back. She wore a long white tank top, and her black yoga pants. No make up on today, and hair up in a messy bun.

The fact she wasn't eating, made her dizzy each time she vomited too. It made her think about that situation as well. Why was she basically killing herself?

Upon hearing her slight gags and groans, Sean had broken open the door that got into her bedroom, but before he could open the door to the bathroom, Emma got up quick and locked it, leaning against it

"Don't come in!" she panted a little.

"Emma, what's wrong?" he panicked.

Emma clenched her teeth, shutting her eyes and tried to stop crying. "Just don't come in._ Okay_?"

A moment of silence. "Fine. But I'm staying right here."

Emma rolled her eyes. She didn't think he'd leave anyways... This was so fucking awful.

She leaned on the door more as she slid down it to sit on the floor on her butt. From the other side, Sean did too, and he leaned his head back on the wall, closing his eyes.

(((***)))

By lunch that day, Emma was lying on her back, on her cold bathroom floor, her arms craddling her stomach and forehead drenched with sweat like it had been the last 10 hours. She wasfinally drifting to sleep. She was **so **exhausted, everything just _hurt._

_An addiction always ends up the same way,_ she thought. _No matter what drug or activity it is. Coke, not eating, even heroine...Whether it's spending money, gluttony, pain, drugs, sex, or alcohol…it takes over your life. _

_Like a shadow that follows you everywhere you go, refusing to leave. Instead of you controlling it, it begins to control you. And you are left helpless and alone in a dark room, cold, and curled up in a ball, lost in your crazy mind._

Emma crawled up after that thought, and decided it was time to let Sean in. She needed him. She needed help.

Sean was on her bed when she opened the door, and he was half asleep, but ears on the 'hear-out'. His head snapped up, and his eyes opened as soon as he heard the floor creak and Emma had come walking over.

She looked exhausted, flushed, and she just crawled in beside him. He sucked in a breath, but softened and exhaled deeply, watching her just get comfy beside him, curling into a ball.

He knew they weren't dating, weren't anything like that, even if he wanted to be but he still laid back down closer to her and pulled her into his arms. He held her so tight, so lovingly, and she shut her eyes, and shut them tighter as a tear slid.

"I don't know if I can fight this." she cried.

His arms tightening around her. "You can. And you will."

She thought again as they both finally shut their tired, blood shot eyes to sleep.

_An addiction changes your life. You just need the right push to stop. Hello. My name is Emma, and I am a cocaine addict._

(((((***))))

_**Maybe I'm addicted.  
I'm out of control,  
but you're the drug that keeps me from dying.  
Maybe I'm a liar,  
but all I really know  
is you're the only reason I'm trying.**_

_**When you're lying next to me  
love is going through to me.  
Oh, it's beautiful,oh yeah  
Everything is clear to me  
'til I hit reality  
and I lose it all.  
I lose it all.  
I lose it all.  
I lose it all.**_

_**Nah nah nah nah nah nah.  
Nah nah nah nah nah nah.**_

(((**)))

The next morning, Sean fluttered his eyes open, to blink a few times and grin a little. Emma laid next to him, the birds were chirping loudly on a beautiful day like today, and she was already awake and looking back at him, smiling a bit too.

She looked breath taking. Naturally beautiful. The freckles she hid with make up, peaked out on her nose. Her eyes weren't red anymore, but clear and soft, his favorite color hazel. She had a little more color to her skin.

"I'm hungry." she admitted. And for once, she was telling the truth.

Sean had at least told Manny about what had happened, and she too told him about Emma's ways of not eating; so he was more than stunned and beyond happy when she said that. He smiled more and stretched before getting up.

"Finally." he teased, taking her hand and helping her up. She stumbled a bit, still a little weak, but his strong arms caught her and balanced her.

She looked up at him under her eyelashes, and he swallowed down the temptation to kiss her as they glanced back at another.

"Get ready." he said, going to the kitchen and putting the sink on. He had to splash water on his face, to wake up, and to snap out of it.

_You were going to kiss her, weren't you, you idiot!? She's going through shit._ He thought. _How the hell do you know if she even wants you to kiss her? She doesn't owe you anything for this._

"I'm ready." Emma announced, coming out of her room as Sean now leaned on her wall by the living room window, looking out for the view.

He turned, his heart stopping. As good as she looked with her designer clothes, and dresses, he liked this Emma too. He adored her. She wore a simple no name brand pair of tight blue jeans, and a over sized fitted long sleeve shirt that fell slightly off one shoulder. She left her hair slightly damp from her shower, just letting it air dry to it's wavy natural state. No make up...she didn't need it anyways.

He snapped out of it and grabbed his keys. "Lets go then."

(((((******)))))))

Manny stared with wide, amused eyes as Emma ate everything on her plate. The toast, the side of eggs, and fruit. Even the orange juice with sugar she drank all of.

They sat at the Dot.

"What?" Emma asked, putting down her drink. She had more color in her skin now.

Manny smiled sadly, but happily too. "You know what."

Emma just shrugged but smiled softly as well."I'm taking it slow. One step at a time."

"Taking it slow with your issues ? Or with Sean?" smirked Manny. She had at first been weary of Emma and Sean falling for another again, knowing how messy it got sometimes, but now she was so on board, wondering why she even questioned Sean for her best friend. He was the one guy who cared about Emma more than any other guy she'd been with.

Sean would drop everything for her.

Emma blushed madly, and the girls shut up when the guys came back from the washroom.

This would be the time Sean would worry about going back to work, and leaving Emma alone. Now Jay and Manny would offer to 'watch' Emma like she was some baby.

She frowned, but let it slide as she nodded and picked her glass of orange juice back up.

(((**))))

"Emma just open the door!" Manny yelled, and Jay banged his fist on the door.

Emma now had furniture in her apartment, the movers all brought it today, and Jay and Manny helped her move it all in. It had been a good day, and then suddenly, it wasn't.

Emma locked herself in her room, crying in her bedsheets, clenching her teeth and trying to fight the urge of need for you know what.

"I thought it was over?!" hissed Jay outside the door, reaching for his cell phone. "Should I call Sean?"

"This kind of thing doesn't just stop, Jay. She's going to be fighting it for a while." Manny snapped back, and ripped the phone out of his hand. "Sean's barely slept, and has watched her for three days straight. Lets give him a break."

Jay gave her a knowing look, "He'd **want **to know."

"He's not her boyfriend!"

"Yet." Jay said with a snort. Manny huffed but sighed. He was right. Sean needed to know but they'd wait for his 'shift' to tell him. Right now, he needed a break.

From inside, Emma was loathing what this drug was doing to her, what SHE did to herself. You didn't know hate until you truly hated yourself.

((**))

The weeks went on like that. Sean would stay a few days with Emma, more if he could, sleeping on the couch. Manny and Jay would do one or two nights, and Liberty and Jt came once a week, they made her laugh. But still, Emma would have her really good, or really bad days.

By almost the third week though, it was nothing but good.. even on a stormy day

Emma stared at herself in the mirror after a late shower. She still wasn't okay with her reflection, but she was trying not to yell insults at herself so..that was a plus. "Hey...you." she muttered back to her herself.

She got dressed, in nothing but a long white t-shirt that use to be Snakes and it barely covered her ass as she rolled up her lacey black panties. It was like her pajama's. She'd be ready for bed now, put on a scary movie to go with the wild winds and rain storm out her window. Also if it weren't for Sean cooking a late dinner out in the kitchen. It smelt good, oddly, since she didn't know he could cook.

When she came out of her room, in nothing but that large shirt, Sean had glanced over from making dinner, and his mouth parted when his eyes fell upon her and she moved closer, and closer.

He slept on the couch now in her living room, since her bed was now in her bedroom. She had a nice tv, and had all her own furniture and silverware now. Sean had even fixed her sink- which had been a hard day, since he did it shirtless. Jerk.

"Uh," he turned around, to stop staring so hard. He furrowed his eyebrows, having trouble focusing on cooking now. "Hungry?"

"Starving." she admitted, going to the couch and sitting on it. Now the shirt really barely covered her ass and when Sean turned, he turned straight back around and clenched the kitchen counter hard.

Thunder struck and Emma watched the rain pour out the window.

Meanwhile, Sean twitched, and he throbbed, and god was he sick? Emma trusted him, and he was only here to take care of her, not be a perv and get worked up by her showing off a little bit of skin. What was he? 12 years old?! She was just a girl.

_**No, She's Emma. **_

"You okay?" he heard Emma ask from behind him. What he didn't notice, was her smirking softly.

He cleared his throat and made them each a plate to eat. He wore his jeans and wife beater, bandana in his back pocket.

"Yea." he lied, "Work was really busy today. I'm just tired."

"Can I go back to work yet?" She asked curiously, getting up to follow him to the dining room.

He brought the food to the dining room, to a wood table and glanced at her as she sat down where he placed her plate from across him.

"Um, do you think you should?"

"I need to get out of the house." Emma begged, looking up at him with those eyes of hers. She then got lost looking at him, her heart pounding. God, she was so stuck in love with him, it was ridiculous.

She stared at him, at his perfect body, made chiseled and hard by all those hours at the gym, and only a thin material shirt on top of it , and she knew what was going to happen. One day, probably soon, maybe when she was 'fixed', he'd tell her they were just friends, but her 'crush' on him was cute; like old times. And he was only trying to help her. And that he probably only went out with cool girls, prettier girls, bad girls, or any girls who didn't have drug or body issues.

That was Emma's thoughts right now in a nut shell.

He was too good for her. Why would a guy like _Sean, _want her?

"I'll think about it." Sean said, showing off a small smirk when she glared at him. Damn him . He went to pick up his fork for it to fall "Damn," he muttered and bent down.

It landed by Emma's feet, and she sucked in a breath when he walked over and he bent down right by her feet. Emma tucked her feet more under her chair, as if afraid of him. He noticed, and slowly blinked, grabbing the fork on the floor.

He then glanced up slowly, and Emma's body got tense, and she couldn't ignore it anymore. She looked back down at him, wearily until she softened.

"Why are you doing all this?" she whispered. He was staying with her, after just basically 'curing' her, and now cooking for her, staying all through the night with her. Why? Why couldn't he just go? He was making it really hard on her.

...was she that delusional?

He looked at her, and his face turned from hesitant, to stern.. "You know **why**."

She looked confused for a second too until she tried to believe what he was silently telling her. But why? Still? After all these years? She thought they were over; but they were never ever really over.

He was bent eye level with her, crouching on his knees, "You've always been the girl for me, Emma. I've always felt like the guy for you too.. we were just always on different paths..." He looked down, wondering if they were finally on the right path yet. Yes, she had a problem, but they were getting through it together.

She swallowed the lump in her throat. Cause he always felt like her one and only too. Guys didn't have the power Sean seemed to always have over her, nor could they compare to them. With Peter, she always tried to shut the back of her mind up that would time to time think about Sean Cameron.

Emma turned more towards him in her chair, and he dropped that damn fork as she cupped his face and leaned down and kissed him. It was soft at first, and loving, and he was kissing right back just as slowly, and he shut his eyes. He sighed breathlessly and started to kiss her more passionately. His hands ran up her smooth tanned legs, pushing her long shirt up her thighs just a little to hold her waist. She yelped but giggled when he then stood up, and picked her up during so. They ended up back on the table, her pressed back against him and him leaning over.

"Sean." Emma suddenly gasped, pushing her hands against his chest. "What about..her?"

Sean was panting, and his face bunched up with confusion as if to say, WHO!? Then remembered Ellie. Or Elsa. God, he couldn't keep up with his own lie. Guilt suddenly washed over him, but as he stared down at Emma, his fingers carressing her gold blonde hair.. . .he couldn't stop. Ellie didn't have what Emma did nor could make him feel the way she did.

"I want you." usually his response wouldn't be okay from another guy, but Emma took it. It was **Sean. **Plus, he wasn't the 'more than one girl' type. And he wasn't. He just uh, had to fix a few things over with Ellie when he got the chance. She didn't do so well with break ups.. no matter how many times they've done it. I mean, right now, she wanted him to think about marriage after he had just broken up with her!

He pushed Emma down, spread her legs, got on top of her and cupped her face, his eyes burning into hers. It was like he was almost angry, if not for the desire clear to be seen. He did not like to lose control, and he resented her power over him, that she's held over him for years... but this, finally having her, it was intoxicating and worth it and god he wanted to fuck her brains out.

Emma moaned a bit feeling the hard bulge in his pants press up against her middle core. They'd never gotten this far before; and it was exhilarating, exciting, hot. She was more turned on by the foreplay than she's ever gotten before with just sex with Peter, Kelly or any other sex that she had.

He stared into her eyes, fisted her hair, and just gave in to the violent passion tearing through his body. He leaned down and kissed her, thrusting his tongue deep into her mouth, and sucking hers into his own. He let his hands find her breasts, those perfect firm breasts that drove him wild, now panting and arching towards his hands.

Emma found herself reaching for his pants, desperately trying to find that button, tugging at them, and Sean couldn't take the wait any longer either, getting up off her again to stand up and she sat up on the table as he stripped and hungrily watched her take her oversized shirt off, baring the fact she only wore those lace panties and those globes of hers were bra-free, the perfect shape and size, bounced up once before he was already at her, kissing her, then her neck, and his hands groping her breasts masterfully.

She helped him rip his shirt off and he now stood in his boxers. His gym-toned body showed off, his abs clenching and he walked back up to her as she seductively helped him remove his boxers. He looked down at her as she gazed at the glorious sight of his huge, engorged cock when they pulled apart from kissing and pulling his boxers off together.

He teased quite confidently, "See something you like?"

"how come we never did this before?" she asked breathlessly, raising an eyebrow up at him. She should of known he'd have a good size. He put all her past to shame.

"Cause you always had a stick up your ass." he playfully joked, grinning as he kissed her again and grabbed her legs to pull her to the end of the table and wrap them around his waist as she too laughed.

"Stick up my ass or not, you _still_ wanted me."

"Yeah." he admitted, his hands slowly gripping the sides of her thong and taking them slowly off. It was like torture to her."I like this version of us more though." he smirked up to her and she braced herself, gripping his shoulders. No need to be modest, she was already wet, and ready, and Sean was so hard it hurt. He needed to be in her, no time for other foreplay acts.

They both pulled anothers bodies closer, and Emma gasped sharply, feeling his member slid up her sensitive folds. "Sean"

"Ready?"

She nodded intently. He thrusted in, and Emma cried out, her fingers gripping into his biceps. Each time he thrusted forward and grunted, his abs clenched, and his body seized up..

"Fuck, you feel so good." he panted in her ear, and she kept whimpering for more, until the words that actually came out of her mouth, was insisting he fuck her harder, and a 'please'. His name falling from her lips also sounded like heaven.

Emma Nelson not only sleeping with him, but telling him to fuck her harder? Sean almost came right there and he passionately kissed her as he slowed his pace, but rammed harder into her deeper and slow, to the point she was sobbing in the most exotic way.

It was his deepest darkest secret, but he use to fantasize about Emma when younger, as in, when they broke up. Funny right? We all knew Sean was a year older than her, and the girls his age were starting to fool around with boys back then. But Emma, she was miss Virtue, a year younger, and she didn't get that Sean wanted more, nor did he know how to say it. Young Emma would gasp and push him away when anyone caught them even just making out before.

So when Sean got with Amy? And she introduced him to third base, blow jobs and all the teenage fun, you would think she was the girl he'd fantasize about for showing him 'the way' right?.. .. but he didn't, and he always often wondered about Emma while **with **Amy, and found himself missing her. It wasn't until Chris Sharpe that set Sean off inside, forgetting the fact that Emma would ofcourse date other people, that Sean knew he made a big mistake.

He use to imagine Emma and Chris doing the same thing he and Amy did, and it really use to get under his skin to the point he dumped Amy, and that's when thoughts of Emma doing those 'things' entered his head. She had come back to school that final year looking so damn hot too, all grown up. He had started to date Ellie then, and went as far as telling her to move in with him cause he was that desperate in trying to forget about Emma; because she seemed to be forgetting about him

With Ellie, it was okay, she was good, attractive, but not gorgeous, Not like the blonde girl who haunted his head. So they never slept together. They told other people they were 'waiting for the right time'. But that wasn't it. Sean knew it then, he knew it now.

And the second time around when him and Ellie tried to date again after college, when he himself even thought he had forgotten about Emma, he had actually done something that he was sure Emma would giggle madly about now. Manny was always buying teen people, cosmo and Vanity magazines, and would leave them lying around the shop. And Emma, his old love Emma, would sometimes be on the covers. He remembered bringing it home, and you can guess what he did. Ellie had almost caught him, but never saw the magazine. It was sad to note the fact that masturbating to his ex on a magazine, was hotter than the sex with him and his current girl friend..

So that was his big secret.

"SEAN!" Emma gasped and was coming for the second time, and he was ready to explode inside of her.

It became fast, urgent, and unstoppable. Emma's nailed raked down Sean's back, and neither of them prepared for the intensity of it and neither of them could be in control.

It was coming, the climax, and they knew it was going to be big; quite possibly the biggest they've had, knowing it was because it was with another. With the person they had wanted, looked at, imagined, and desired for so long.

Outside the room windows, thunder struck again and the lights went out, but they didn't care; they continued but slowed down, stared at another, and made love.

He shook, and she trembled. She fell slowly back lying on the table, not being able to take it much longer and he went back laying over her. He kissed everywhere around her chest and shoulders. They clutched at each other in need, sweating and moaning, and Emma finally bucked her hips, feeling him groan and come inside her.

It was the perfect storm.

**AUTHOR NOTE : REVIEWS ! EEEEK, how hot. Hehe. I wish they stayed together on the show, I hate Archie aka the new writer of Degrassi for doing that to Semma. Everyone knew they were end game. Anyways REVIEW! ANyone have thoughts on how Sean can break it off with Ellie ?**


	8. Another Countless Heartbreak

Sean tried to work on his customers car the next day, and when the boss worked on the vehicles, it meant the customer was paying **good **money; only for the best. Sean was that, but he couldn't seem to concentrate. He sighed as he leaned under the hood, using his wrench to pull a lever out in the engine.

_FLASHBACK OF THIS MORNING._

_Sean was having a fantastic dream. There was a girl - warm, and naked - blonde. her hair smelled like flowers and vanilla, her skin was so soft, and it had been so long since he last had her in his arms. His eyes opened drowsily, hoping it still wasn't a dream, and Emma in fact was still next to him._

_Thank god, it wasn't a dream._

_Blonde hair was spread over the pillow, tickling his cheek, and he had his arm swung over her tiny waist. She breathing in and out softly, in a deep sleep, like a kitten. So damn cute, he thought. I hope..._

_...shit, I hope she doesn't regret last night._

_He rubbed the back of his neck, his brow furrowed with worry and began to panic as she stirred awake at the feeling of someone stiffening right beside her. She could probably even hear his heart pound._

_Maybe things had moved too fast, but it wasn't like they hadn't known each other for a long time.. and what she had been through the last few weeks, it was a lot to go through with someone who was just a 'friend'._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

Sean huffed and leaned up, trying to rub his eyes. He couldn't help but grin slowly though as he went back under the hood and tried to get to work again but more memories clouded his head.

_ANOTHER FLASHBACK_

_"I don't regret it," Emma whispered repeated for the 100th time in his ear. He sighed thankfully, running his fingers through her hair. She arched against him, feeling that 'morning' poke and he groaned, shutting his eyes and hoping she didn't notice but she did, and purposely did that for a reason. His mouth dropped as she eased herself on top of him, and begged him to fill her. He almost came there._

_"I'm going to be late for work." he sighed helplessly._

_"We can stop?"_

_He sent her a look, making her giggle then yelp when he tossed her now under him, and he leaned over her, thrusting into her just once, then twice. Emma whimpered and clenched his arms, closing her eyes. His lips met hers and she instantly melted against him, her lips parting to accept his tongue, moaning as it stroked against hers as he was moving in and out of her slowly._

_Making love._

_He would pull out almost all the way, leaving just his tip inside her, her walls gripped him and she tensed as she waited for him to plunge back inside. Every trust, every stroke was so worth waiting for. Her legs were almost shaking around his waist._

_She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, lifting her hips, matching his rhythm as his thrusts increased in speed and depth, making her moan almost constantly and him pant. Their lips met again in a bruising kiss the next time, full of passion and fire._

_Emma felt his whole body tense and she knew he was close._

_The climax of hers came when his did. She felt his whole body vibrating with pleasure, his muscles tensing, the way his head dropped back for a second before his eyes latched on to hers again, seeing the evidence of his pleasure in his gaze, the feel of his cock swelling, pulsing inside her made her begin to climax with a whimper and shudder, rocking her hips against his and clenching the bed sheets._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

Sean now removed himself from the car, slamming it shut.

He couldn't work today.

All he wanted to do was leave and go spend the rest of the day with Emma. She hadn't even texted him or anything though since he left herplace. He had showered after they , well, they made love. And then, she was asleep again when he came out. He didn't want to bug her, so had left.

Maybe he should of left a note?

Maybe he should call her?

Dammit. Emma had him second guessing his every move all over again like he was 14 years old again.

"You okay dude?" Jay had to ask, cleaning his tools from in his tool box with a white towel, giving Sean a wierd look.

Sean rubbed his eyes, "I can't...work!" he seemed frustrated. He turned, and leaned back on the car he was working on, crossing his big arms over his chest as he panted madly before he sighed and gave up. "Can't stop thinking about her."

Jay stopped cleaning his tool, and his shoulders dropped, sighing. "Something happened, didn't it?" he put the tools down, walking over to Sean.

Sean stared off between their feet as he muttered, "We slept together last night."

Jay scoffed, "Come on, man! You couldn't hold it in for a few more months?"

"I don't have a few months!" Sean shot back angrily, "I have mere weeks to figure out what I want with Ellie before she comes back to ask me again.. I can't even- don't even- know what I am with Emma. We were, just, in a moment. I couldn't help it. I wanted her to know how I feel about her. How I **still **feel about her."

Jay gave him some pity, sizing Sean over, "You'd go back to Emma if you could?"

Sean kept staring down at the floor, agony in his eyes. "I'd always go back to her..." he licked his lips nervously as he glanced back up, "I just want to see if this thing with me and Emma is serious."

Jay asked, "So Ellie's going to just be on the back burner til your ready? Dude that sounds more like something I'd do"

"No, you're right. I just don't get it. Ellie never clarified if we were together or not.." Sean wondered if he had even cheated. God, this wasn't him. What was going on suddenly? Life was so average and, boring, until Emma walked back into it. Now it was spinning out of control. She had him spinning

Jay chuckled, "I don't get it either. You two broke up, she went missing for a bit, then she suckered you back in with sex, now she's trying to trick you into marriage. Never liked that girl." At least with Emma, Jay could admit Sean was a better person. Emma changed Sean for the better. Ellie made Sean weak, and boring. And the way his friend looked when around Emma, Jay just knew he was more happier with her than with Ellie.

Sean couldn't help but think of Ellie walking down an alter towards him, and he just shook his head, cringing a little. He couldn't imagine himself doing it. Marrying Ellie. But easily, Emma popped into his head, smiling and wearing a beautiful white dress-

"Shit." Sean cursed, closing his eyes and rubbing them.

"What?" Jay asked.

"I need to go talk to Emma." Sean began to walk out and hollered over his shoulder, "Close tonight, please!"

"You're her love sick puppy, Cameron!" Jay called after but chuckled, turning back to his tools and shook his head. "Oh, those two."

((((((******))))))

At Emma's apartment now, Sean stood in front of her door and took a deep breath before he knocked a few times and waited.

A few seconds later, Emma opened the door, her soft blonde hair falling around her shoulders and wearing fitted blue jeans and a casual white tank top on. She looked so good, her eyes nearly glowing. She bit her lower soft pink lip.

"Hi." she greeted.

he snapped out of it and cleared his throat, "hey."

Silence filled the hair. He furrowed, "We need to talk."

She held the door to her side and leaned on the door, "I know.."

"Can I come in?" he asked.

She looked a bit startled for a moment, and even glanced inside before choking up and trying to explain, "I don't.. I don't think that's a good idea."

Emma saw the hurt cross over his face. She smiled sadly, "We don't really make good ... choices..when we're alone together."

He too chuckled sadly but reminded, "I don't think their all bad choices."

Emma swallowed, locking eyes with him. She sighed helplessly and finally opened the door, letting him in. He took hold of the knob and came in, closing it behind him.

"Smells good in here." he admitted, looking around.

"Made pie." Emma admitted. Not for so much she was hungry, but she needed to take her minds off things. Off Sean. For God sakes, he had a girl friend!.

Sean was nodding, and now leaning against the counter as Emma finally huffed.

"Sean, I'm not the side girl. I can't be anybodys side girl."

"You're not." his eyes widened, not believing she could think she was.

"Sean you're with another girl." Emma raised her eyebrow at him, not knowing how he could forget. "I think yesterday was just...old..old feelings or something."

"Old?" Sean had to repeat, looking at her with a crazed look and walked closer. She stood by the couch and leaned back against it the closer he got. "They aren't **old feelings** Emma, they're continuingly, lingering, forever sort of feelings." he snickered bitterly, "I didn't ever think of you after you left and went _**'hmm, wonder how 'that girl' is doing'**_. It was always, '_**I miss her. I still do**_.' " he shook his head at her, "Don't stand here and tell me you never thought about me now and then too."

Emma looked away from him, tears making her eyes shimmer. "Does it even matter?" she looked back at him. Would he even give the other girl up for her?

He looked so helpless, and devoted. He took a step forward, closer, staring into anothers eyes. "I don't care about Ellie, I care about you-"

"El**lie**?"

"You and me-"

Emma spoke louder, catching his slip up that he didn't even catch, "Ellie **Nash?!**"

He finally stopped, wondering why she was suddenly looking so angry while he pouring his heart out to finally stop and curse silently. _"Fuck._" Oh, not so silently. He closed his eyes and huffed, going to explain, "Em-"

Emma snickered, shaking her head at him and looking at him like she didn't even know him. His gut turned sickly.

"Emma." he took a step closer, going to put his hands on her arms and she shrugged him off like his touch disgusted her. He flinched with hurt.

"I am so stupid." she laughed, upset, putting her head into her hands to then look back up and ran her shakey fingers through her hair.

_Don't let him know he can still break your heart, _Emma thought, _finish this once and for all. No more giving chances to the guy who always breaks your heart. _For once, Emma wanted to be in control again.

"You know, it's not just me whose changed." she looked back into his eyes so vile like.

He looked so sorry, and tried to explain, "I knew if I told you it was her, you would-"

"Would of ended whatever this is a long time ago? Got that right, Sean." Emma stormed over to the door, but Sean caught her arm, spinning her back around to him.

"Why are you threatened of her?! She doesn't make me feel anything close to what you do-"

Emma cried and yelled at him, "Yet you lived with her, your friends liked her, you two never had the problems we did Sean, and you sure as hell never fought like we do!- And you've been with her all these years.." Emma couldn't believe it.

Sean's mouth hung, and he tried to muster words but there was all too much to say, but nothing related to that. Who cares if his friends liked Ellie? He didn't. He wanted Emma; always had. But for Emma's information, they didn't really like Ellie, not really, Alex put up with her because she was with Jay, and Jay actually didn't like her at all, never did. He just would of rather Sean be with her than the school goody two shoes back in highschool because Jay knew he could control Sean more when he was with Ellie and didn't have to fight over him like he had to with Emma.. He was an ass then, and he knew Emma's opinion mattered to Sean.

Sean always cared about anything that had to do with Emma.

"Just go." Emma pleaded, opening the door and couldn't even look at him.

Sean stood there, looking like he had been hit by a bus. His shoulders felll and he walked out but stopped and had to ask her, "Would you of taken a chance if you didn't find out? About Ellie?"he asked with a braver tone, "Would you of at least wanted to try again with us?"

Emma turned her head, and locked eyes with him. She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I'm done with liars and people who aren't good for me, Sean."

With that, she shut the door.

Sean stood there, frozen cold.

Inside, Emma silently sobbed and shut her eyes, climbing onto her couch and her heart ached and broke as she surrendered to another countless heart break by Sean Cameron.

_**/how stupid could I be  
a simpleton could see  
that you're no good for me  
but you're the only one I see**_

_**love has made me a fool  
it set me on fire and watched as I floundered  
unable to speak  
except to cry out and wait for your answer  
but you come around in your time  
speaking of fabulous places  
create an oasis  
dries up as soon as you're gone  
you leave me here burning  
in this desert without you/**_

{How stupid could I be- Sarah Mclaughlin}

Sean went home, throwing his keys effortlessly into the tray by his door. He slammed it shut and turned to the door, resting his forehead against it, closing his tired eyes.

He turned, and his tired eyes glanced around his gloomy home. He dragged his feet into his own apartment and sat on his couch, leaning back and throwing his head back on the cushion.

His pocket vibrated by his phone, and dug with a scoff to get it out and looked miserably at the caller.

Ellie.

He tossed his phone over the couch, and it fell with a noise he was sure meant he had broken it, but he carelessly turned on his side, trying to sleep but just stared at his blank wall with his heart tearing up inside of him, his stomach twisting with pain.

_'I'm done with liars and people who are no good for me, Sean_.' her voice haunted him.

He couldn't agree more. She deserved better.

He felt like a scumbag.

(((((*****))))))

"Come out, babe." Manny begged Emma the following week. "We can have a girls night."

Emma ate cerial on her and Jay's couch, just trying to spend more time with MAnny to keep her mind off things. The worst thing to do, was let this 'heart break' set her back.

"No I-I'll just say in tonight." Emma said and put the bowl down on the coffee table. "You go though."

She gave Emma a stupid look. "I'm not leaving you here to drown in your pity."

"I'm not drowning."Emma muttered miserably as Manny sat next to her. "Fine." Emma raised an eyebrow. "Lets go. Bring me to your closet."

"**My **closet?" Manny asked somewhat in disbelief but amused. Emma had always said her closet was too 'promiscuous' for her.

This night out might just be fun after all!

((*))

"You closing?" Jay asked Sean another night, turning from walking out with Chad and Mike. There was a big storm outside but they were going to go grab some beers.

Sean stood at the front desk of his shop, all the lights on but only him staying late. He just glanced up from the chart he was writing down on to mutter, "Ya." and got back to work.

Jay frowned, noticing how down Sean had been the past week or two, even that light in his eyes blew out the day he had said he needed to go talk to Emma. Jay had guessed things didn't go well.

Sean had thrown himself into work, and was barely talking- about anything. Even if it had to do with work. He tried to alienate himself in his office a lot too.

Oddly, Jay also knew Emma was going out with Manny a lot more too. They had 'girls night' every Friday and Saturday.

"Want to come for beers after?" he offered.

"No." Sean just answered while still signing some forms.

Jay gave up, sighing in defeat and opened the door, leaving Sean to wallow in his misery.

_**/everything changes  
everything falls apart  
can't stop to feel myself losing control  
but deep in my senses I know**_

_**how stupid could I be  
a simpleton could see  
that you're no good for me  
but you're the only one I see/**_


	9. This Is Going To Be A Long Night

Sean heard pounding on his door, and it wouldn't stop until he pulled himself out of bed and ripped it open.

Ellie stood there, coat on and purse in hand. His mouth hung until he felt the reminder of Emma and looked away, guilt covering his face.

"You haven't answered my calls." Ellie said quietly..

(((*)))

She sat there, on his couch, thinking about all he had just told her and he told her **everything. **Well, all about what he did with Emma behind her back, but not Emma's problems, that was her buisness.

"Wow." Ellie finally spoke after a long time. She sat on the couch as he sat on the coffee table in front. He looked up when she finally spoke, seeing her eyes burning with tears. "Emma Nelson.."

He too cringed and nodded, swallowing hard. "I'm really sorry, Ellie." he wished she knew that.

"I could never compete with her, could I Sean?" her voice turned bitter, until she turned sad again, "Not even when I was just a stupid teenage girl. Guess I'm still stupid though huh?... Wow, of course she would come back when we are thinking about marriage."

He looked away, wincing and not knowing what to say to that.

He looked back and whispered, "I never wanted a wedding, Ellie. You know that-"

"fine." she bit, then sighed and leaned closer, "Fine, That's fine, baby. Lets just stay together a-and-" she cupped his face for him to remove her hands.

"Ellie I cheated on you." he gave her a crazy look.

"I gave you the break."

"I **love** her."

"You love me too."

"No Ellie." he finally stood up and she gasped. He shut his eyes and ran his hands down his face, "I'm sorry but I-I .. ." he locked eyes with her, hating to say the truth, "I can't ever love another girl the way I do with her. Nobody can replace her."

"What does she have, Sean?" her voice cracked.

"I don't even know Ellie." he looked confused as well, "She was just the first girl who ever really knew me. Accepted me. She didn't even want to change me but I felt the need to until the pressure built up, and my insecurities got the best of me-"

"Oh my god." Ellie looked slapped in the face, "You broke up with her because you thought you weren't good enough. Not because you were over her."

He looked down, ashamed, and nodded.

"When you were with me, back then when we started dating, did you **still **_want _her?"

He looked horrible as he nodded, filled with guilt and agony.

Ellie looked away numbly. "I guess that's it then. All I need." she snickered and stood up, "In the back of my mind, I knew."

He looked up, shocked. She nodded.

"I've seen her pictures in the magazines out around your place sometimes. I'd insist you probably didn't even notice when you bought it but why else would a guy buy Vanity fair magazine?" she even laughed at herself. He for sure wasn't looking for new make up products..

Sean smiled sadly and walked to the door with her as she took a deep shakey breath.

"Tell me one thing."

He turned, leaning on the door.

"Are you two back together now?" she asked.

Sean rubbed the back of his head, shaking his head no.

Ellie smiled so sadly, a tear running down her cheek. "What's wrong with her? You're _perfect_."

Sean looked at Ellie and promised, "you'll find a better guy than me, you deserve better."

Ellie nodded, and finally went out the door. Sean closed it behind her.

(((***)))

Manny sat at a table with Emma in a diner while Jay was working down the street the next day. She laid out wedding pictures on the table and pointed at a brochure for Emma.

"It's this cool thing wedding couples do now who want to get a taste of what other peoples weddings are like. So you go, and you're part of their guest list, and you just check out their decor, and band, and theme."

"So you can get a picture for your own weddng. That's cool." Emma admitted, looking at the brochure and really looked interested.

"Will you go with me?" Manny begged.

"You said you needed to be a couple." laughed Emma.

Manny winced, "Ya. So, you come, and Jay brings his best man, and we act like engaged couples so we can all go see it together!"

Emma was sending her a death look now, putting down the brochure.

"Em, what's the big deal?! You said you're over it, last night you even went home with some guy from the club."

"don't remind me." muttered Emma and then swallowed her fear, "Fine. Lets go. I am over it."

Manny raised an eyebrow.

"I'm over it, Manny! He made it easy. He's still with _Ellie Nash_." Emma said the name like it was poison, "now stop looking at me like I'm not over it."

"Can you be friends?"

No. Emma squinted her eyes at Manny. "yes." she lied.

"Good! I'll tell Jay!"

(((((*))))))

Manny left Emma after they ate, and walked to the autoshop with some donuts for them.

"I come baring gifts." she teased, raising the box as she entered the motor shop that played music while men in mechanic suits drilled and worked.

Geez, if she wasn't engaged.. Just kidding. She was too inlove to even THINK a thing.

Jay greeted her with a kiss, then stole the box, grabbing a donut. "Franky, Chad, Mike- donuts?" he raised the box, setting it on the table for everyone.

Sean looked up from his office, wondering what the sudden cheer was and noticed Manny here. He turned back to signing some papers on his desk as the bad reminder of Emma popped into his head.

Over by Manny and Jay, she peaked in Sean's office and muttered, "He still brooding?"

Jay whispered back while snaking an arm around her waist, "He's never stopped." he sighed and then raised his eyebrows. Should he tell Manny about Ellie? Sean told him it was over. Little too late, but, at least over.

"Hey!" Manny cut him off, "Emma is down for the wedding stuff. I get to have my maid of honors opinion"

Sean was now walking out of his office, and came over to them. Jay spoke so he could hear, "I wish MY 'maid of honor' was that nice."

Sean gave him a wierd look, stopping in front of them. What were they talking about?

"Donut?" Manny asked sheepishly, pointing to the box that was near empty now. He frowned, noticing her being TOO friendly. Emma must of told her what happened. She probably told her how she hated him too. Was that why he was getting the pity look from Manny?

"Wedding stuff." Jay told Sean, "Manny wants Emma to come so they can girl out, but it needs to be couples."

"To pick out cake?" Sean snickered, not understanding.

"No, to go to someone else's wedding." Manny explained it all to Sean.

"So . . Emma can't go, unless she has a date that poses as her fiance .. "

They nodded.

"Does..she have a date?" Sean looked so obvious as he tried not to be a nervous wreck. He hated the thought of Emma with another guy.

"That's you Bam, bam." Jay told him, "That is if you can handle it."

Sean blinked, and looked around, licking his lips nervously until he shrugged his left shoulder, "Well, its your _wedding, _I'm **best man.** I need to help."

"Sure Seanny." Jay taunted, knowing what was really up. Manny laughed too

"so what time? What day?" Sean looked a little eager.

Jay raised his eyebrows, "Jesus man, relax. You're some school boy again when it comes to Greenpeace. Man up."

Sean growled at him, "I'm your boss, you know?"

"I don't get it." Manny now had to say, realising Sean wanted Emma too, that it wasn't just a hook up that her friend insisted it was, "If you want her back, dump the wicked witch of the west, and go back to the _good witch." _

Sean snickered, "Don't think I've tried, scare crow?"

Manny mouthed 'scare crow' with a confused look. "No brain." Jay whispered to her.

Manny gasped and pointed childishly at Sean, waving her finger in his face, "Well you're tin man!" No heart.

"Now you're getting her upset." Jay warned Sean, trying to pull Manny into his arms and put down her hand in Sean's face who rolled his eyes. Jay explained slowly to Manny, "Did you miss the part he said he dumped Ellie?"

Manny stopped, and gasped, looking back at Sean, "You did?"

Sean was looking uncomfortable, making sure his workers weren't listening, "Can we not talk about this?"

"This Saturday, you'll come?" Manny asked, raising an eyebrow. He stalled, looking unsure. She shrugged and went to leave, "Fine, I'll just ask the guy Emma went home with the other night to come. It's not hard for her to find a date-"

Jay cringed and Sean's mouth hung, grabbing MAnny before she turned to leave, "She's been with someone else?" his stomach turned, his blood boiled.

"She's been with a few. You broke her."

"I think Peter did that." Jay intervened. They both frowned at the reminder of that asshole. Jay scoffed and snapped at them both, "You guys are going to make do the smackdown aren't you?" he gave Manny a pointed look, "You don't know what's going on between them, so stop getting into it."

Mannys mouth fell.

Jay turned to Sean, "You have no damn right in getting mad at Emma for who she hooks up with or dates. You were with Ellie all along when you hooked up with her and made her fall for you again." he took a deep breath, "now I'm tired. That was my one good deed of the year."

"What about our wedding?" Manny asked.

"Yea yah, I'll be good that night too... until later on." he smirked, she did too. He then scoffed, "I hate being the one who has to do smackdown, now I'm tired and filled with emotions." with that, he left, and Manny and Sean stood back with shocked looks.

((((***))))

Emma sat on her couch, her tv on but her not focusing on it. She stared at her hand, picking at this one part of the couch near her feet that was slightly ripping and she was pulling the yarn.

She hated this feeling of guilt and depression, with her history, it resulted in turning to bad things and if she was alone for one more minute, she might just think about doing it-

KNOCK KNOCK.

Saved by the bell. Literally. Emma turned to her door and got up, going over to it. When she opened it, Jay stood there.

"Alright, good little witch, lets talk." he entered.

Emma stood there, confused. "Good witch?"

(((**))

He and Emma sat down on her couch, watching some Adam Sandler movie but both not watching it. Emma wondered what he was here for, must be important. They didn't always hangout alone.

He finally spoke, "You need to figure out if coming to this wedding with us is going to be too hard or not."

Emma blinked, and looked at Jay. "it's fine."

He gave her a knowing look. "When it comes to not handling things right, me and you connect on a level." he admitted, "I use to turn to _things, _before I met Manny, and- I don't want you doing the same."

"Awwww, you really care about me." Emma teased.

He gave her a look, "Emma." he said seriously and she frowned. "If it's going to be too much to be around 'him', then tell me now. We can make Spinner go instead or something."

"It's fine." Emma swore, closing her eyes and wanting the reminder of Sean to go away.

"I'm asking not just for your good health, but Manny's too." he looked dead serious now, and almost threatening. "If this blows up on you, who picks up the pieces? Manny. If you do anything to ruin her fun day-"

"You think I want to do that, Jay?" Emma finally snapped, looking at him with tears burning her eyes. It shocked him. She snickered bitterly, "I know I have issues. Will having to be around Sean again hurt? Yes. Always will. I can't avoid that forever, he's your best friend. But I can live with it, I'm a big girl."

Jay frowned, and felt a bit bad, slowly nodding at her. She sighed, and nodded back.

"It'll be fine.

((((((((((*******))))))))))))

The wedding that Saturday was in a big church. Emma wore a pretty black lacey sleeve dress as Manny wore a tight little red dress. Jay dressed his best too, not even wearing his backwards hat, and Sean too wore dressy black pants, shiney shoes, and button up blue shirt with his hair pushed naturally back. A little facail hair on his chin now that Emma didn't notice before. Must be new.

He looked really, really, good. But he had a brooding, quiet vibe going on. But it didn't look bad on him honestly. He had the 'tough quiet guy' look.

They sat on the bench, side by side, Emma and Sean looking tense, Manny and Jay actually watching the wedding and holding hands.

It was the after party that now Emma and Sean had to force themselves to talk as they waited in line to go into a white tent where the wedding party was. Manny and Jay had just entered from stating their names for the guest list. One couple was ahead of Emma and Sean so he took his chance when their friends finally weren't there to watch a show.

"Can we talk?" Sean asked Emma, finally trying to get her to even just look at him.

She spoke without even doing so, "Sure. We can even be _friends_ .." she shrugged as the word stung him, "just as long as you forget anything and everything that ever happened the last few months."

He paused, but nodded "..fine."

She finally looked at him, but weirdly, "Why did you hesitate?"

He cleared his throat but had to be honest, "Kinda hard..forgetting **some** parts."

Emma tried not to blush. She huffed and just insisted, "**Forge**t them. Throw them in a tiny bag inside your brain, and toss it in the trash can."

He smiled softly and nodded, "Tossed." . ..but not really. How could he forget that one stormy night and the next morning?

"Good." she said, eyeing him now and not believing him but trying to.

"Good."

Finally the doorman asked them, "Names?"

"We aren't part of the family or friends list." Emma told him, "We're the guests that are just watching."

He nodded as he found their names, "Mr and Mrs Cameron I presume?"

Both of them stiffened, and Sean gave the guy a tight nod who nodded back and waited for them to go. Both their feet seemed glued to the door.

Emma sighed, "Lets just go." she led him inside.

He muttered under his breath, "This is going to be a long night."

Inside, they met up with Manny and Jay in the wild crowd, rocking out and dancing to the live band on stage. "What's up?" Emma asked Manny, seeing a troubled look on her face and Sean noticed Jay looking quite pissed.

"I think the 'live band' is a big no." Jay said sarcastically and Sean looked back at the band, Craig Mannings as the singer.

Emma and Sean even shared a look.

Uh oh.

**Author note: I won't be continuing without any reviews. **


	10. Chapter 10

Craig seemed to notice the four old Degrassians too, right on stage, he even paused during a guitar solo but ended up nodding and sending them over a grin.

Emma mustered one beside Manny who stood beside her and nudged her when she waved, "Emma!"

"It's Craig." Emma rolled her eyes. She cannot not say hi. He was an old family friend! Snake and Joey still went on 'man vacations' together.

"Jay." Manny moped, smoothing her hand up and down his arm as his glare was locked hard on Craig.

"I'm gonna go get a drink." growled Jay and he walked off. Both girls looked at Sean for that assurance if Jay was mad or not, and the look Sean gave just showed them it wasn't good.

((*)

Manny now stood at the bar with Jay, a slow song now playing as the band took break.

"How about we just dance, and get drunk?" Manny held her body against Jay, hoping it'd help seduce him and change his mind.

"You can't make it up to me with that. Not this time." Jay huffily said.

Manny rolled her eyes, "What say did I have over this, Jay? I had no idea he'd be here... he is a famously known wedding singer though."

"I hate the little leather jacket wearing, lying, guitar carrying, piece of-"

Manny's eyes widened seeing Craig coming right up behind Jay and even patted his back, "Hey you guys!"

Jay turned, not believing this but Manny tried to force a smile, "Hey..you."

Jay gave her a look and she shrugged. Jay squinted his eyes back at Craig.

Craig looked ecstatic. Maybe too ecstatic to be seeing them. He looked around with his big brown eyes, "Thought I saw Emma and Sean here too?"

"You did." Manny nodded.

Jay and him finally locked eyes and Craig kept nodding to then pause and clear this throat, "Heard you two were engaged." he signaled between the two.

Manny wrapped her arms around Jay and showed her ring off, nodding. Jay ofcourse had to ask, "Why do you care?"

"Jay." Manny rolled her eyes.

Craig laughed nervously. "I get it." he confirmed to Jay. "Don't worry, I am not here to shake up any drama."

"What makes you think you could?" Jay asked, pulling Manny closer to him, "She knows what guy makes her-"

Manny knew what dirty things Jay would say and nudged him hard in the stomach, baring a smile at Craig who missed it, "You should say hello to Em and Sean! You and Sean use to go back too."

Craig nodded and looked around, "I think I'll go do that."

He left, and Manny snapped in a whisper at Jay, "God you can be so jealous! I thought I convinced you the last time Craig was around that you have NO need to be jealous."

"I'm not jealous. I hate the guy. He's a manipulative asshole- believe me, I know."

"You changed your spots." Manny reminded, "Why can't he?"

"Trust me, Manny. The guys probably still on something. Did you see how shifty his eyes were?"

"He is NOT. He went to rehab!"

Meanwhile, Craig saw Emma and Sean quietly sitting at a table across another. He noticed they kept their distance. He assumed they were together, I guess he always would when seeing Sean and Emma together because that's usually what it meant, or they weren't around another at all because they couldn't pretend to be friends.

"Look whose together again." he joked, and sat between them.

They turned, then went over what he said, both looking at another with parted mouths and not knowing how to explain.

"We aren't.."

"No, we're not-"

"OH!" Craig felt embarrassed," Sorry." he chuckled and itched the back of his neck with a sniff. "So uh," he tried to think of how to change the subject.

Emma snuck a glance at Sean who held a hard gaze at the ground. "Hows music buisness, Craig?"

Craig looked at her, and grinned. "Going great." he looked her over and saw she too, looked great.

How come him and Emma had never been more than..friends?

"What happened to the tour stuff? Concerts, shows?"

"Weddings and parties are just so much easier. And at home." he answered and looked around the place, "This is my usual gig. Got my own dressroom and stuff in the back." he looked at Sean who just nodded, trying to look impressed. "Want to see?" he asked them.

Emma looked to Sean.

Sean looked comfortable, and not wanting to move. He looked to Emma who tried to be polite and forced a smile, "Sure."

"I'll stay here." Sean told them, but watched with narrowed eyes as Craig even helped Emma up by her hand, and kept hold of it as he led her away. Sean squinted his eyes and watched them go til out of site.

He tried to shake it off. Emma and Craig were just old friends.

((((****))))

Emma laughed, walking around Craig's dress room which was like a little apartment and he admitted, "I sort of even live here." he sat on his red leather couch, with a black coffee table in front of him.

He had his guitar laying against the arm on the couch

Emma went and slowly sat on the other side of him and sighed, looking around. "You seem to be doing well. Even if it's not the 'Rockstar' life anymore. That's probably better for you, right?"

She eyed him, hearing about his 'problem' from Manny years go. I guesss on a level, she could definitely connect with him.

Craig paused, wondering what she meant and then chuckled with a sniff. "Yeah I guess so." he then eyed Emma and got lost looking at her. He couldn't help but inch a bit closer. "So Emma Nelson, what have you been up to? Model life, I heard last. I'm not shocked." he grinned slowly.

Emma did believe he was flirting. She could help but laugh and eye him wierdly to then think about what he said.

"Really?" Emma asked him, not so sure "Cause it seems like the old Emma you use to know would of thought the model stuff I did was sort of... sexist and degrading."

"I just meant.." his voice lowered, "with how pretty you are, and all." he licked his lips slowly as him and Emma locked eyes. "..are you really not with Sean?"

Emma snapped out of it, wondering why she was falling for Craig's cheesy little lines and flirting. Maybe it was her old grade 8 crush on him kicking into gear, but when he mentioned Sean..Emma couldn't think about anything else.

"Can we not talk about him?"

Craig grinned more to that and shrugged his shoulders, "No problem." he leaned back comfortably. "I can't help but notice..you seem, different."

"Good different?"

"Amazing different."

Emma smiled and rolled her eyes. Something then caught her attention. Something on the coffee table, "Um, Craig..is that what I think that is?"

She slowly stood up, her eyes glued though to the coke bag on the table. Craig glanced over, and back at Emma, but paused before he said anything as he noticed her not moving to get away..but standing still unable to move with a look in her eyes he knew too well.

"Have you tried it before?"

((((***)))

"Hey." Manny greeted as she and Jay sat back down at the table with Sean. He looked a bit antsy, looking around the wedding party. "Where's Em?"

Sean glanced, annoyed, at them. "She left with Craig about an hour ago. I don't know what is taking them so damn long."

Manny and Jay glanced at another, a bad feeling stirring in Manny's stomach but she tried to brush it off. "She's fine with Craig."

"Is she?" taunted Jay, raising an eyebrow.

Sean then eyed between them, wondering what was going on. He wasn't let in on the 'hot gossip' back when Craig and Manny last dated, about the whole coke and rehab thing.

Manny couldn't hold it in. "Where did they go, Sean?" she got up, and grabbed Jay to stand with her.

Instead of answering, Sean got up and led them towards the back, Manny passing Jay a worried glance behind Sean's back.

(((((*)))))

"More?"

Emma held her head in her hands and shook her head, feeling a bit dazed. Craig hung over her, his shirt off now and Emma couldn't believe they had done this.

She took a line, or three, and they had started to make out hot and heavy to the point of Craig feeling her up, and taking his shirt off. But then she stopped.

"No." she mumbled.

Craig flicked his baggie to see how much is left, "I'm running low anyways." he smirked over to her, "We took a lot."

He watched her finally look up, and run shakey hands through her hair and her eyes looked glazed, her nose red.

"Are you cryin?" he inched closer again and she tried to look away from him but he cupped her face, "Em. This isn't bad, how can be bad when it makes us feel so good?"

Emma felt it bumping through her system, and wanted to even agree with him but she felt horrible. All those weeks, gone to shit. All Sean did for her. . down the drain.

"Or is it the kiss?" Craig frowned.

"No." Emma insisted, seeing his face fall." Yes.." she admitted and groaned, "I don't know."

"You're clearly under a lot of stress or something, Em. You just.." he grabbed a glass of something and handed it to her, "You need to relax. Alright? I'll take care of you."

Emma trusted him, and nodded, taking it and then swallowed something hard in her throat. "Craig! What the hell is that?"

"Vodka and soda."

Emma closed her eyes and just put the glass down, whimpering a bit and just leaned back on the couch, trying to stop feeling this way. Awful. High. Out of her own control.

"Shit." Craig got up. But Emma looked passed out. "Emma, your nose is bleeding."


End file.
